


I Do Not See You But Love You Blindly

by Rebel_1986



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Humor, Banter, Clexa, Clexa Endgame, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Humor, Long-Term Relationship(s), Mutual Pining, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-06-03 05:10:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6598081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebel_1986/pseuds/Rebel_1986
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is a Medical Physician for the World Health Organization (WHO) and Lexa is a top CIA Agent. They just also happen to be Unity Partners, which allows them to communicate to each other by writing messages on their hands to one another. When a once eradicated virus known as the COL resurfaces these two are thrown together in a way that neither had imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So Close, Yet So Far

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thanks for possibly reading this fanfic ... It has been years since I have written anything other than random poems so please excuse this possible train wreck below ...lol. I will do my best to get back into the groove of writing as soon as possible so if you can hang in there, things should get better... maybe... hopefully...anyway enjoy
> 
> Everything written in italics is a Flashback

_Why is it so bright were the first words that Clarke's mind could construct as the sun weaved it's way through her room and directly into her eyes. Eyes which she would have loved to keep closed at least for a few more hours. It was summer, school was out and she had no reason to be awaken so rudely. The sun did provide a slight warmth to her face which she couldn't deny felt intoxicating and gave her the full sensation that summer was here. After fluttering her eyes a few times, she noticed the reason for her current discomfort._

 

“ _Ugh,” she sighed, glancing over at the drapes she had forgotten to close the night before and was paying the price for it now._

 

_Being the logical teenager she was, Clarke did what anyone would do. Mutter a curse as she rolled over to the other side of her bed which still remained in the shade of darkness._

 

“ _Much better,” she yawned out, before her half closed lids noticed something on her left palm._

 

_Slanting her head to the side and twisting her wrist upward as she blinked several times, she made out the simple phrase written in the center of her palm._

 

 _**Testing, Testing 1,2,3**  _ _**-Lexa** _

 

_A small smile formed on Clarke's lips as she realized her Unity Partner had Ascended. The great powers that be had determined that every person born after the year 2125 must be injected with a DNA replicating substance called Ascension. This substance allowed communication between two people through writing messages on ones hands. True Ascension did not happen until your 18 th birthday, which Clarke did not reach for another 4 months. _

 

_Suddenly no longer concerned with begin awaken at such an ungodly summer hour Clarke slowing begin running her finger over her palm, tracing each letter carefully, lingering only over the name Lexa. She took in every curve of the handwriting and in the moment knew she wouldn't mind seeing it on her skin for the rest of her life. Clarke could only wonder about her life long Unity Partner and a unexpected feeling of excitement begin to burn in her chest. Lexa seemed to have a sense of humor at least, so maybe this unity thing wasn't going to be so bad after all._

 

 

* * *

 8 years later

 

“X”

“O”

“X”

Clarke studied her left palm still truly wondering why she continued to amuse Lexa with these games of Tic Tac Toe. The games usually ended in a draw unless one of them became distracted and made a wrong move. They have played this game countless times and as much as it seems pointless it brings Clarke a sense of comfort she can not explain. After all of these years she has wondered if it brings Lexa the same feeling but has yet to have the courage to ask. Somethings are best just left unknown Clarke had come to think and so the game continued. Throughout the years they have kept their messages brief, neither prying into the others life unless promoted by information volunteered by the other. She knew so much but at the same time so very little about Lexa and yet there was a connection between them that went beyond that of Ascension.

 

“Are you coming?”

 

“Uh ... What?” Clarke stated as she looked up at saw her friend Wells peeking his head into her office.

 

“Are you coming? There is something going on, something serious. You are needed right away,”

 

“Yeah, be right there,” quickly rising from behind her desk and following Wells, promptly matching his stride. “What's so urgent. You look flustered.”

 

“Thanks captain obvious,” Wells said half smiling.

 

“Seriously Wells, what's going on?”

 

“We just got word that there were some CIA agents who might have come into contact with a possible deadly contagion. It's all over the news.”

 

“Of course it is, we are always the last to know.” she sighed as they turned the corner and entered the situation room where most of the staff of WHO (World Health Organization) had gathered.

 

The situation room was filled with large Tv screens that covered the walls and displayed every possible news channel throughout the country. Each screen had been turned to the same broadcast on this particular occasion and the room grew utterly quiet except for the lead CNN anchors voice that was commanding the attention of everyone present.

 

“We have just received word that there has been a possible Bioterrorism attack. All of the details at the moment are not clear but from what we understand the possible contagion is that of the COL virus. I am sure everyone is familiar with this particular biological agent, it was the virus that almost wiped out humanity some hundred years ago. It is unclear if the virus has been dispersed in any significant quantity but all law enforcement agents are now on high alert. The initial resurfacing of said contagion was located close to the Polis area, we urge all residents of Polis to stay inside wherever you maybe and avoid all unnecessary travel until further notice. The WHO will be heading out to eliminate and contain any possible further contagion within the next hour so please be patient and allow them to do their work quickly. From what we have gathered there were only 3 people possibly exposed to the COL agent but with a virus this strong all containment protocols will go into effect immediately so hang tight and stayed tuned as we will provide you with real time updates. This is Jasper Jordan of CNN news signing off.”

 

Hushed mummers started to filtered throughout the room just as the main doors opened and with them entered the Head Director Marcus Kane and Leading Medical Physician Abby Griffin.

 

“Ok, ok, everyone listen up,” Marcus stated while glancing around the room. “from what we understand the virus has not been spread and it is highly likely that the 3 CIA agents mentioned were not truly exposed. At the moment it is all just hear say but we all know that is can go bad very quickly so with that said let's go handle this situation smoothly and with haste.”

 

Abby allowed her eyes to quickly search the room as Kane spoke until she found the eyes of her daughter, who gave her a quick half smile that Abby returned and with a nod of her head.

 

“Dr. Griffin, this is your show. Rally the troops”

 

“Alright everyone, this is a code yellow and you all know your responsibilities. Our main focus as you heard is to eliminate and contain. We will need to setup quarantine rooms for the 3 CIA agents that are possibly infected. I have provided all information needed at your corresponding stations. Be safe and let's get to work.”

 

And with that the room of corresponding specialists, medical doctors, scientists and epidemiologists burst into action and begin to rush from the room and head to their ready stations. As the room dispersed Clarke made her way over to her mother.

 

“So this is really happening.” Clarke sighed

 

“From what I can tell … yes, but we won't really know anything until we have those agents here.”

 

“When can we expect them?”

 

“Soon, I already have a team en-route to collect them from the possible contagion site. So within the hour and I am having you oversee their treatment while they are quarantined here.”

 

“Great, I will go get my team prepared and ready. You can count on me.”

 

“Oh I know, you are your mother's daughter.” Abby said smiling. “Report to me when you have something … Oh and Clarke, be safe”

 

“Of course,”

 

* * *

  _8 Years Ago_

_4 months felt like forever, it was indeed the entire summer break and then some that Clarke would have to wait before she would be able to respond to Lexa. 4 months of trying to come up with some witty response to Lexa's first message. 4 months of waiting, yeah these 4 months were going to be a pain in Clarke's ass._

  _Taking in the cool shade of her bed for a few minutes more before forcing_ _herself up and to her feet. With a groan lighting escaping her lips as she raised her hands above her head and gave her body a much needed stretch. Clarke made her way downstairs and wandered into the kitchen with a mission to pillage for food she found a note attached the the refrigerator door._

 

_**Duty calls, left money on the counter so you can order a pizza. Not sure what time I will be home. Love you - Mom** _

_This was a common occurrence, ever since her dad passed away Abby had thrown herself into her work at WHO. She really couldn't blame her mother, wanting to keep busy and not face the pain that lived in every corner of this house. Every memory decorated with the shadow of dad, it was in these moments where the house was just to big and lonely. Making her way back to the living room, Clarke flopped down on the closest couch and switched the tv on just for some background noise as she stared down at her cell phone._

_**Princess:** I'm bored O … come over!!_

_**Princess:** O …_

_**Princess:** O …_

_**Princess:** O …_

_**Princess:** I know you hear your damn phone!!!_

_**Gun Bitch:** STOP ... why are you up so early???_

_**Princess:** The sun is a bitch …_

_**Gun Bitch:** Well, so are you …_

_**Princess:** Rude! So you coming over or ..._

_**Gun Bitch:** Do I have choice?_

_**Princess:** No, see you in a few. Bring your swim suit the sun is out and the pool is warm :)_

_**Gun Bitch:** At least you are good for something, be there soon bish :)_

_Octavia had been Clarke's friend since she could remember. They had grown up together and their families were very close. Clarke had lost her father a few years ago and Octavia had lost her mother not much before that. They shared a mutual bond of lost and she was the one person that Clarke trusted completely._

_“Unity Day, is a special day in our history ...” Clarke's attention was drawn up toward the tv as the word Unity danced into her ears._

_“A hundred years ago mankind faced extinction in the way of a virus code named COL. Since all of civilization seemingly begins to break down step by step once a world ending situation is introduced. Those remaining are left to wander, organize and rebuild with little to no communication with each other. A solution was created by World Health Organization, after years of experimentation and with determination to never enter those Dark Ages again. The WHO developed a silicon based substance that was injected into the bloodstream of every person born starting the year 2125 and beyond. The affects of this substance creates a new strain of code in the DNA and with gene mapping directly affects the skin on the hands of that person. Each code is only replicated twice and injected into two different people of no relation to each other. In short the two affected persons can talk to each other using their hands as note pads. Giving you a direct line of contact with another human being for the rest of your lives. Since radios, mail and internet all shut down once society breaks, having a direct line of contact with one other human being increases the chances of grouping together larger, more powerful groups if a disaster occurs.”_

_“Direct line of contact for the rest of your lives” Clarke repeated softly to herself as she looked at her left palm._ _Letting her fingers trace the name Lexa once more. “Maybe I am not so alone after all”_

 


	2. Tic Tac Toe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glance at Lexa's POV in certain events. Learning more about her and the relationships with the people around her. Clarke learns something that changes everything for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you for all the comments, kudos and just response in general to this story. I know the first chapter was short, this one is a little longer and as we continue I am sure that will only increase. Getting my bearings back and the characters are just starting to talk to me. I want to note that this whole story will be told in 2 time frames, the present and the past, I will jump back and forth.
> 
> All past/flashbacks are in italics - just FYI

“You two at it again?”

“We never stopped.” Lexa stated plainly her eyes never leaving her left palm.

“This still amazes me.”

“And what might that be?” Glancing up to see Anya standing beside her passenger side window.

Anya was leaning ever so slightly downward with her arms braced against the widow frame, allowing her body to slightly lean into the SUV. “This, you two,” motioning her hand to Lexa's left palm. “This **thing** that has been going on for years … it's boring. Fix it” Anya sighed.

“Well tic tac toe can be boring I will admit but -”

Sighing, “Not your damn game Lexa, you know exactly what I am talking about.”

“I really have no idea …,” returning her eyes back to her palm.

An exasperated sound came from the opposite side of the car as the door opened and Anya entered, shaking her head as she looked at Lexa with total frustration.

“I swear Lexa if you weren't my best friend I would hit you. Actually ...” giving Lexa's arm a hard but playful punch. “You two should just meet already and do **that** in person.”

“What? Play tic tac toe?” Raising her eyebrow

“Yeah that, if that is what the kids are calling it these days. I mean let's be honest, the sexual tension between you and your palm is frighteningly uncomfortable”

“Just because Clarke and I -”

“Clarke and I …” Anya said mockingly

Shaking her head as the corners of her mouth formed the slightest smile, “Yes, Clarke and I … we just … I mean … I don't know” sighing “It's nothing, she is just my Unity Partner .. that's all.”

“That's all …”

“Right”

“Right”

“… Look just because you and your Unity Partner decided to get a little extra friendly doesn't mean that there aren't some of us who actually take this thing seriously. It was created for a reason Anya”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night … Anya said smiling.

As much as Lexa wanted to deny every word that Anya said, she couldn't. Whatever this thing was between her and Clarke felt as though it reached far beyond that of Ascension. Then again she could just be fooling herself, maybe it was all one sided and that is why Lexa had always kept a calculated distant from Clarke. Never giving to much information and never wanting to know to much in return. She could admit that the games of tic tac toe were boring but it was _their_ thing and on days when Lexa didn't want to talk or think, she knew Clarke was there and ready to play this brain numbing game. Through the years it had been in those moments that Lexa had fallen for someone she had never meet, someone she had never seen. It was crazy but Clarke was her constant and in that she found a comfort that went beyond all the unspoken words between them. However, it would have to be a cold day in hell for her to admit that to Anya, especially as she sat there with that smug shit eating grin on her face.

“I sleep just fine, I will have you know”

“Saying Clarke's name in the dark I assume -”

The sudden ringing of Lexa's cell phone hushed any further conversation as she reached into her pants pocket and pulled out the device answering it in a stern tone.

“Special Agent Woods,”

“Yes, sir. What is the address … we will check it out,”

“Are you sure?”

“How is that possible,”

“We will sir, we can handle it … thank you sir,”

Hanging up the phone and quickly placing it back into her pants pocket, “buckle up,”

“That serious huh?” Anya asked snapping her buckle into place

“For the first time in a long time, I really hope it's not.”

* * *

 Lexa made quick work of the drive over to the location she had been given by the Chief Supervisor. The traffic was light and the car remained mostly silent after relaying to Anya what little she had been told.

218 Colombia Heights Ave

“Alright, this is it,”

Rounding the corner, Lexa turned off the headlights, as a large darken warehouse came into view that stood ominously at the end of the street. Bringing the black SUV to a stop and parking it in a lot a short distance away from the building as to not arousal suspicion.

“Do you see the tech van?” Anya asked

Taking a few minutes to survey the area, Lexa quickly noticed a van parked in the alley adjacent to the warehouse. A few seconds passed before the headlights on the van flashed twice quickly.

“There,” Lexa said, nodding her head in the direction of the alley

Exiting the car and making their way swiftly over to the awaiting van, the door was immediately slide open.

“What's up bitches?”

“You are the definition of unprofessional,” Anya sighed

“You love it, plus it's a term of endearment bitch,” Raven said smiling

Letting a small chuckle escape her mouth, “Hey Reyes, oh how I have missed you”

“Hey Commander, see Anya I am loved … loved and missed”

Rolling her eyes, “Yes, well that is coming from someone who has strong emotional attachments to their palm”

“Wow … you just gonna let her blow up your spot like -”

“Ok, Ok … Anya enough of that shit for tonight.” Lexa said glaring her in partners direction “we are here to do a job -”

“But -”

“Raven!”

“Alright, damn Commander … chill,” Raven said motioning for the ladies to enter the back of the van.

The van was fairly large, it consisted of chairs, lots of monitors, multiple computers, radios, other various high tech gadgets that Raven herself had designed and constructed throughout the years. Raven was by far one of the CIA's top field Agents who had a flare for tech and all things genius.

“So this is what we know …”

* * *

Black …

Complete darkness …

Had someone turned out all the lights in the room?

Does the room contain no windows?

Has someone blocked out the sun?

Black …

Low throbbing pain begin to ease it's way into Lexa's temple, followed by a low steady beeping sound that rung in her ears. Her head felt so heavy as if it was begin weighed down by an immovable force and right before panic could set in ...

Black …

Something was wrong, she could not move, even as she spoke to her limbs to respond, they refused. So heavy, why is the air so heavy? Taking in long deep breaths, the throb in her temple deepened and the low beep raised in frequency and in volume. Open your eyes, she told herself, open them. Ok eyes work with me here. Open she pleaded. They were heavy, everything was so heavy. Gathering all the strengthen she could, Lexa forced her eyes open and the immediate greeting of light that answered in response was almost to much to handle.

“Fuck,” she muttered, slamming her eyes shut in the process.

Slowly lifting her eye lids, she allowed the light to seep in at a minimal rate, giving her pupils the time needed to properly adjust to the bright fluorescent lights. With each breath, each flutter of her eyes Lexa slowly pulled herself out of the darkness.

Looking around slowly, Lexa started to take in her surroundings. From what she could gather, she was in a room, fairly small, white walls, no windows to the outside world but there was a large glass window that looked directly upon the bed in which she laid. The bed was comfortable but small, there was an IV running into her left arm and as her eyes followed the line up she noticed several monitors on the walls behind her bed. To the right of the bed was a large medical apparatus of which she has never seen before, it displayed various numbers and letters that looked all to confusing for her at the moment. The only furniture in the room other than the bed was a small flat screen tv that was mounted to the wall in the right corner of the room, a small table and trash can that was perfectly lined right below it and a large bin in the left corner of the room that displayed the words **Danger** and **Biohazard** in large print. Left of the large window that looked into the room were two doors. The first was a fairly large metal door that she noticed contained no handle or knob and had a small window panel that was constructed in the middle of it, she amassed that it was the sole entrance into the room. The second door was wooden, plain and rested in the frame of the left wall of the room, it did however feature a doorknob, which she guessed she was allowed to use if she could ever get out of this damn bed.

A hospital, she was in a hospital … right? At least that is what she could assume. She would unfortunately have to figure it all out later as the darkness called to her again. Lexa fought it, fought it with all the energy she could muster but the pain in her temple and the heaviness of her head won and at last she submitted to its call.

Black …

How long have I been lost in this darkness?

Come on, you can do this … wake up

Wake up …

Flashes of light entered Lexa's eyes as she gained focus and peered forward. At first there was only a blob, one single blob that turned into two and then two into three. Three figures which she could hardly make out stood on the opposite side of the large glass window in front of her. Blinking rapidly and straining her eyes the images started to become clear. Two of the figures she knew very well, Gustus and Anya, the third was a female, a blond slightly shorter than Anya that Lexa could only assume was a doctor as she wore blue scrubs that were partially covered by a white lab coat. The three of them were not looking at her, they were engaged in a conversation among themselves. Anya seemed to be listening intently to the conversation while Gustus looked as if he chimed in ever so often with a few words of his own. She looked on studying them, Gustus looked worried but after a while seemed to become more relaxed as the blonde spoke, Anya looked like she had seen better days, there was a small bandage above her left eye and the blonde, the blonde was looking at her. Somewhere between her moments of studying Gusts and Anya the blonde had turned her attention to her. Our eyes meet, the blonde's lips continued to move but her eyes continued to look at mine. To say that the blonde was beautiful would have been an understatement. Her eyes were blue, so blue, the color of the sky on a peaceful summer's day. There was something in them, something that almost hypnotized Lexa in that very moment and as time itself seemed to stand still as they looked at each other, Lexa felt the heaviness of her head pull her down again, down and back into darkness.

Black …

* * *

Clarke's eyes meet those of the Special Agent laying in the bed before her, even with the glass separating them, her piercing green eyes touched something deep in Clarke's core. Clarke's lips moved as she spoke coherent sentences to both Chief Supervisor Gustus Rosewood and Senior Special Agent Anya Cypress but her focus somehow remained locked within the glance she was now sharing with those green eyes that seemed to be looking right through her. The moment only truly lasted for about two seconds but it felt like an eternity had passed between them and before Clarke could alert the Agent's fellow colleagues, Agent Woods had passed out again.

“She will be able to leave the faculty in a few days time. Special Agent Woods sustained a very serious concussion during the incident and a few bruised ribs but other than that she is fine,” Clarke stated.

“Well that is some of the best news I have had all day,” Gustus said, breathing a sigh of relief in the process.

“I have cleared her of any infection, there were no traces of the COL virus in her bloodstream. Same as with you, Anya and Raven, I would say you are all very lucky,”

“Luck had nothing to do with it, she saved our lives,” Anya stated matter of factly

“Thank you Doctor Griffin,” Gustus stated

“Just doing my job, same as all of you,”

“Either way, thank you. Take care of our girl, she probably won't be happy when she wakes up. She is not really the lay in bed and do nothing type,” Anya said with a smile smirk “Have fun with that.”

“We should get going and let you work your magic. I will be in contact with you about my other Agent in there.”

“She is in good hands,”

“I don't doubt it,” Gusts said smiling

As the Chief Supervisor and the Senior Special Agent maneuvered their way out of the room and into the proceeding hallway, Clarke was left alone and looking at the brunette that laid in the room before her. Agent Woods was still dead to the world and Clarke suspected she would remain that way for the remainder of the day. Looking at her left wrist to check the time on her watch, her eyes were inadvertently drawn back to the current game of tic tac toe she had so rudely abandoned since everything turned into chaos. She wondered what Lexa had thought, probably nothing, sometimes hours and even days would pass where neither of them would respond. They both understood that the other had a life and were busy living it but unlike any other relationship theirs was a constant that never lessened due to inactivity. Lexa had been the most stable relationship Clarke has ever had and they were not even sleeping together … how sad was that she thought, drawing an “O” in the middle box.

“Your move,” Clarke said to herself

Forcing her mind back to the task at hand, she looked up to the still sleeping Agent Woods. Grabbing a few gloves from the box on the table and shoving them into her pockets before she entered the room. An immediate chill went down her spine as she noticed the temperature change in the quarantine room, the temperature is kept low as a protocol to slow down the ability of any infection to continue to grow and spread. Thankful that she was wearing her lab coat, she approached the bed slowly making as little noise as possible in order not to disturb the Agent. As she got closer and closer to the bed she could not help but notice how stunning Agent Woods truly was. Even with the faint bruise that had formed on the right side of her face, it did not take away from her appeal. Clarke could not stop her eyes from taking in every inch of what this sleeping beauty had to offer, her face was for lack of a better word was perfect. The Agent's lips looked soft, slightly full, pouty and they begged for attention. Biting her own bottom lip slightly her eyes moved down toward the Agent's jawline and then running the length of her neck all which sent a low ache to a place Clarke did her best to ignore.

“Definitely, need to get laid Griffin,” Clarke mumbled to herself quietly “Focus,”

Picking up the chart in front of her, she begin to look it over.

 

 **Patient Name:** Alexandria Woods

 **Occupation:** CIA Special Agent

 **Age:** 26

 **Sex:** “Yes please,” Female

 **Diagnoses:** Mild - Severe Concussion, 2 Bruised Ribs (3 &4)

 **Blood Test:** COL (Negative), Normal – Quarantine Lifted **(Per Dr. C. Griffin)**

 **Notes:** Keep for observation due to concussion protocols **(Per Dr. C. Griffin)**

Observation minimal 5 days per protocol

 

Looking through the rest of the chart, seeing no unusual details and stopping only to add her signature where needed, Clarke returned the chart to its rightful place hanging it on the side of Alexandria's bed. Using this moment to take in the sight of her sleeping patient once more, moving her eyes down until she noticed something, something was there on her left palm.

“What is that?” Clarke whispered

Alexandria's hand was turned slightly inward so Clarke could not fully make out what it was at first. With a small amount of hesitation, feeling as if she was invading the Agent's privacy she leaned closer and Clarke honestly could not believe what it was she saw. A small hand drawn tic tac toe board was staring back at her, her own handwriting staring back at her ...

“You have got to be kidding me .. Lexa.?” Clarke breathed out

“No, no ...” shaking her head in disbelief

“No fucking way,” Clarke said way to loudly as she immediately turned and rushed out of the room.

* * *

Black …

Lexa could not think of any color but blue, even in the darkness that enveloped her now, blue is the only color that she could see.

 

> “They're crystal blue, a shade that shouldn't exist on the human body, shade I immediately crave, a shade that makes my heart beat a little bit faster--almost as if I recognize it. I want to steal it, paint it, throw it into every room I ever decorate. It's the most perfect blue I've ever seen. Even from this distance those eyes are simply remarkable.”

These words lingered in her mind, pulled from something that she knew, words that she had read once or twice before. What were they from? Chaos … The Chaos of Stars, yes those words lingered in her mind now, becoming apart of the darkness that seemed endless and yet …

Black …

Black … turned to Blue

* * *

This can't be happening

Dreaming, yes I am dreaming right?

Lexa? Here, now … how is this possible?

After all this time …

Clarke walked quickly through the hallway and entered the restroom on the right. Closing the door behind her and locking it. Turning and leaning her back against the door as she let the weight of her body sink against it. Her legs felt weak, head spinning and if it weren't for the door she would not be standing at the moment. Looking down at her palm as the thought of Lexa, no wait Alexandria entered her mind.

Reaching down and pinching her wrist …

“Ouch,”

So this was not a dream, Lexa is Alexandria … Alexandria is Lexa. Holy fucking shit. Tracing her finger over the tic tac toe game in the center of her left palm, closing her eyes as the picture of Lexa entered her mind again. Any picture that Clarke had painted of her once faceless partner paled in comparison to the real deal that laid in the bed only a few rooms away from her now. Pushing herself away from the door, looking around the stalls and confirming that she was indeed alone in the quiet and privacy of the restroom. Clarke made her way over to the sink, turning on the cold water and splashing some gently on her face.

“Come on, get a grip Griffin,” she mumbled to herself

Taking a few deep breaths, trying to compose herself as she stared into the mirror in front of her. Grabbing a few paper towels and wiping her face, before leaving the sanctuary of the restroom. Making her way slowly back down the hall and into the observing room that looked in on Lexa. Even though Clarke had left rather loudly, the beautiful brunette had remained unconscious and settled in the bed, unchanged.

Ok, let's think about this logically ...

Just because she has a tic tac toe game on her palm like yours and handwriting that looks identical to yours doesn't mean it's Lexa

Right?

Could just be an odd coincidence

Pacing the room frantically as she tried her best to reconcile all of the questions that lingered in her mind. Before she realized what she was doing, Clarke had entered the quarantine room once again and was slowly making her way toward the bed in which Lexa laid. Pulling a pen from her pocket as she approached, angling herself close enough that she could see Lexa's palm. She begin to write the letters beautiful just underneath the tic tac toe game on her own left palm and as she looked up she begin to see the faint letters form on Lexa's skin, deepening within seconds.

“Fuck”

Licking her thumb and quickly rubbing it over the letters before they could dry, smudging the words, doing her best to remove them completely. Seeing the letters disappearing from her hand and Lexa's almost instantly.

“Hi”

Her eyes shot up forward and meet those of a vibrant green as a faint raspy voice muttered a very simple greeting.

“Hey” Clarke whispered in return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Clarke knows ... how do you think this will change things for her? Will she tell Lexa? Will she tell anyone? Hope you enjoyed this chapter, Raven is one of my favorites such a smartass and Anya is not far behind with the sarcasm.
> 
> I will try and update once a week, Usually every Monday or Tuesday. I will update twice a week on some occasions depending on RL work.  
> Quote is from the book The Chaos of Stars by Kiersten White
> 
> Feel free to stalk me. Ask me anything on Tumblr, strange, odd, theories, all is welcome  
> Twitter : https://twitter.com/therebel1986  
> Tumblr: https://therebel1986.tumblr.com/


	3. She Had Ascended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those long four months are coming to an end and Clarke will finally be able to send her fist message to Lexa. Bellamy comes home from college to join in on Clarke's birthday festivities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole chapter is a flashback just FYI ... Not sure how many chapters this will be just yet, probably 20 or so ... stick with me the ride will be long and worth it :-)

_Six hours … she only had six hours left to figure out a comeback to Lexa's somewhat witty introduction. The last four months had been hell, Clarke was in no way a patient soul so this had been a true test for her. It had not helped that Lexa had took it upon themselves to post a monthly reminder on Clarke's palm with every month that passed._

**_1 Month …_ **

**_2 Months and counting_ **

**_3 Months …_ **

_These monthly doodles had appeared on her palm like clock work and only made the time pass much slower. Each one only made her obsess over Lexa more, obsess over the perfect response, obsess and over think. She went to bed every night thinking of someone who she had never meet, who she may never meet and yet … these four months had felt like a long distance relationship in which she was giving the silent treatment to an undeserving partner._

_In six hours she would be 18 and in per-celebratory fashion O had invited her over for pizza and a brainstorming session in the hopes of coming up with the prefect riposte to Lexa, needless to say O had been of zero help the past four months._

_“What about … is this thing on?”_

_“No,”_

_“I think mine is broken,”_

_“No”_

_“I see you …,”_

_“Creepy as shit O and points for creativity but … no,” Clarke said with a subtle shake of her head_

_Moments of silence passed between them as they both stuffed their mouths full of pizza. Time was running out and Clarke had started to feel defeated. She would fail, she was a failure, Lexa would forever be united with a failure she thought, what a poor soul. Ok, so she was being overly dramatic but for whatever reason she wanted to impress her counterpart. No, she needed to impress them._

_“How about you just act like a normal person and say hi,” a voice said from the kitchen doorway_

_As both girls turned there stood Bellamy, Octavia's older brother, looking at them with a small smirk on his face. How long had he been standing there and what had he heard was the first thoughts that entered her mind._

_O was instantly up and running toward Bell, capturing him in a massive hug that forced him to catch her and remain balanced at the same time. He looked different Clarke thought … appealing even. Pushing the thought out of her mind, she made her way over to both Blakes; as she approached she noticed Bell watching her over his sister's shoulder and for a moment Clarke felt O had become the third wheel._

_O had finally relinquished her grip on her brother as Clarke walked over and without hesitation Bell had take her into his arms and pulled her in close to him. He was strong, stronger than she remembered and he felt nice, she had to admit. Clarke was surprised by the force and somewhat intimate way in which Bell had embraced her. She was stiff at first, somewhat uncomfortable but it only lasted a second and as the moment passed she relaxed into him … ok he felt really really nice._

_“Hey Princess,” he whispered_

_She blushed, she couldn't help it … the way his lips had brushed her ear … that smirk on his face as she pulled away from him … fuck …_

_Needing space … and needing it right way, Clarke pulled back and took a few steps away from Bell, glancing over at O, hoping she had not noticed a damn thing. She had noticed … fuck …_

_“What are you doing here?” O asked_

_“You are not suppose to be here until next week”_

_“Well I cut a deal with a certain professor, told him I needed to be home for a very important event”_

_“Event?”_

_“Yeah, your birthday Princess,” Bell said with a smile_

_And the blush was back … fuck …_

_Clarke could see O shaking her head at the two of them. What the hell is going on Clarke thought and why they hell was it going on with Bell. Two very good questions she would have to wait and get the answers to later on as O pushed everyone back over to the counter for more pizza._

_They talked, laughed and caught up with with each other for the next few hours. Filling their bellies with pizza and the heads with stories. Bell had enjoyed college at NYU but missed his home and Clarke to apparently._

_“So … I still have no idea what I am going to say at midnight”_

_“Is it really that important, I mean it's your birthday Princess. Why are you so worried about what this person will think of you” Bell stated_

_“I don't know really,” she said_

_She really didn't know but she did care and she cared a lot actually. Lexa was important, Lexa was hers … forever and that meant something._

_“Do you not care about your Unity Partner?” Clarke asked_

_“Well … I mean yes but I don't know. I never really bought into the whole thing I guess” Bell stated nonchalantly. “Echo is nice from what I know, the little we have talked but -”_

_“Bell has never really cared about the Unity day nonsense. He feels it is beneath him … you know boys, they don't believe in forever, fairy tales are for girls right,” O said with a smirk on her face_

_“I never said that, I just … it doesn't matter” Bell said in a huff. “I'm going to bed,” he said in a rushed voice as he pushed from the table and stormed off_

_“'What the hell is his problem?”_

_“You really don't know huh”_

_“Know what?”_

_“Bell has always kind of secretly wished … well not so secret anymore that you would be his Unity Partner” O said deadpan_

_“What?”_

_“Exactly …”_

_Clarke had never ever thought about Bell that way … well … not until tonight, not until that hug … fuck. He has always been like family to her or maybe he was just safe and familiar … she really didn't know and had never put much thought into it but maybe …_

_“Well Clarkey, it's getting late and you got an hour left until the big 1, 8 …”_

_“Your right … I should get going. I only have an hour left until I am a Unity Partner failure,” she said with a small laugh_

_After saying their goodbyes, Clarke started the short walk back to her home. The Blakes only lived about 2 streets down from her and on nights like this a walk was always welcomed. The night was clear and the sky was full of stars, they lived in a gated community that was surround by nature, it was peaceful and usually very quiet._

_The walk had not lasted long enough and as Clarke entered her home she found it dark and quiet. Her mom was still no doubt at work but Abby had promised to be home in the morning for her birthday. Clarke wondered through the house, turning on a few lights but ultimately finding her way to the deck in the backyard. She sat on the railing, unknowingly swinging her legs as she lost herself in the beauty of the night, moments passed and she truly had not noticed that she had been rubbing small circles into her left palm the entire time._

_“I wish you could feel this,” she said out loud_

_It would have been the perfect way to say hello she thought._

_Looking down at her watch, seeing the last few seconds of the day tick away as the clock struck midnight … she waited, seeing if she felt any different, seeing if she could sense any change in her. For a fleeting moment she felt disappointment but then … something happened, she felt it, she begin to feel a warm tingling sensation that exploded in her chest. The feeling then cascaded down through her arms, like blood rushing through her veins until it reached her palms. The sensation lingered there for only a second before her palms became very warm, hot even and after a moment of uncomfortable heat it was gone... it was done … she had Ascended._

_A small smile formed on the corners of her lips as she rubbed her palms together, leaning back slightly and turning her palms toward the sky as she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Opening her eyes all she saw were the stars and in the very moment wondered if Lexa was looking at them too._

_Reaching down and pulling a pen from her pocket … the pen she had been carrying with her all day just for this very moment. Pulling the cap off with her teeth she pressed the pen into her palm and smiled at the sensation there, letting the pen move freely across her skin allowing it to disperse every emotion she had been containing for the pass four months._

* * *

  _Beep beep beep …_

_The annoying sound of her alarm roused Lexa awake as she instinctively reached over and slammed her hand on the clock effectively turning it off with one hit. It was 7am, it was early but Lexa didn't mind, she was a morning person by default and today was a little different. It would mark four months since the day that she had Ascended and she had made it a ritual of sorts to remind her Unity Partner that she was in fact here and willing to talk to them if they were so inclined to speak._

_Lexa did not want to admit it but she was initially worried that maybe her partner was a dud and simply had not interest in this forever connection. It would be here luck she thought … she was not meant to have anyone … ever._

_If it had not been for the coaxing and supportive words from her cousin Lincoln, she would have just ignored the pull she felt for something as simple as a connection. Lincoln had come with enlightening words, letting her know simply maybe your partner has just not ascended yet. Sometimes the simplest answers are the correct ones she had thought and decided she was if nothing else going to pester her partner to death until the gave in and either a.) she grew on them or b.) they tell her to fuck off. Both had seemed like strong possibilities but she would have preferred the former of the two choices._

_She had wasted enough time in thought and just as she reached over to her nightstand to grab a pen she noticed something on her palm … she was in awe. She in fact had to blink several times to make sure it was not a dream as she looked down at her palm that was simply alive, it had been brought to life. On her palm was a beautifully drawn mural like nothing she had ever seen. It was of the edge of a forest, in which the center of her palm mostly consisted of a lake that ran down to her wrist, the lake was surrounded by nature, with the trees extending up through her fingertips, a small moon at the tip of her ring finger, with various stars on the tips of each finger and a small signature etched at the bottom right corner of the lake which simply read … - Clarke_

_“Wow … they live” she said softly. “Clarke … Clarke,” she liked the way it sounded as it escaped her mouth._

_Running her fingers over her palm clearly, taking in every detail that was now imprinted on her skin as a smile came across her lips. These four months had been more than worth the wait, her partner was an artist and the more she took in the beauty that was on her palm the more her simple words four months ago seemed to be nothing in comparison. Were they trying to out do her … she thought … no, no they did this for her … for her. Leaning back on her pillow and holding her hand above her head, she became completely lost in the mural. Rolling over and grabbing her laptop, opening her browser as she punched into the search bar … “How to preserve pen ink on skin/Ascension” … within minutes she had her answer and proceeded down the hall to her bathroom._

_Rummaging through her cabinets using only her right hand, she found the two things she needed. She carefully poured a layer of baby powder over her left palm, rubbing it into her skin, next she coated her palm with a layer of hairspray … allowing it to dry before she tested the tip of her finger under some running water._

_It worked … no smearing, no smudging, no fading … it would not last forever but according to the trusty interwebs it would preserve itself for at least a few days. A few days … otherwise she was almost tempted to not wash her hand for a few days and at that thought Lexa almost puked._

_**Lexa:** I think you may have been correct in your analysis of my Unity Partner_

_**Linc:** Did they write back???_

_**Lexa:** Yes!!_

_**Lexa:** Though draw would be more accurate_

_**Linc:** I knew it. You are smiling aren't you? :)_

_**Lexa:** No …_

_**Linc:** :-)_

_**Linc:** What did they draw?_

_**Lexa:** I will show you, see you at the track in 10_

_**Linc:** Yeppers!!_

_Dressing quickly and leaving her apartment in a rush, Lexa made her way to the local track in the neighborhood park. Lincoln and her were two of the top track stars in Washington, D.C. and both had just received full athletic scholarships to Georgetown University for this coming fall. To prepare and stay on top of their game, they meet up every morning for a run no matter the weather and it was something Lexa had come to love. Lincoln and his mother Indra were really the only family that Lexa had ever known, after losing both of her parents and being placed in several foster homes it was by pure luck that they had discovered she even existed._

_“Hey, there you are”_

_“Sorry, had a slow start this morning,” Lexa said smiling_

_“I wonder why … you are smiling”_

_“Maybe”_

_“Come on cuz, show me,” Lincoln said with a big ass smile on his face as he rubbed his hands together_

_She was smiling, in fact she had been smiling since she saw the mural, a smile had been plastered on her face so long that her cheeks sort of hurt from it. All of this over a drawing … all of this over a connection to someone she doesn't even know. Before she could think anymore about it she shoved her hand into Lincoln's face._

_“Wow ... ok, how did they pack all of this detail into such a small surface area, that's talent”_

_“Yes, Clarke is talented,” she said_

_There was something about that name that she loved instantly._

_“Clarke … hmm guy or girl you think?” Lincoln asked as he studied the mural_

_“No idea and I never go by names but -”_

_“Hoping it's a girl ...”_

_“Hoping …” Lexa said deadpan_

_“Well luck follows the hopeful,” Lincoln said as he glanced over at Lexa_

_“Luck has never really been on my side has it”_

_“I don't know, I mean we did find you. That was luck”_

_“Point received”_

_“Hey, at least they didn't tell you to fuck off,” Lincoln said with a smile, “Come on let's do this”_

_Lincoln was right … and maybe my luck had already started to change those few years ago when Indra and Lincoln walked into my foster home and took me away from that piece of hell that had become my life._

* * *

_Clarke had slept like a log, she had been up most of the night sitting on the deck drawing to her hearts content and only slept once she was satisfied with the lake by the forest mural she had composed for Lexa's enjoyment. She was awoken by her mother singing happy birthday with a plate full of pancakes, eggs and bacon being brought to her in bed side. After spending the morning talking to her mother about her Ascension and even showing her the mural it was almost time for the party as everyone started to filter in slowly._

_“So what did you say to Lexa ...” O asked_

_Without saying a word, Clarke shoved her hand into Octavia's face_

_“Oh my god Clarke … that's, that's fucking sick. Wow”_

_“You like? It's not to much is it?”_

_“Um no, it's amazing, really”_

_“Aww, thanks O,” she said pulling O in for a tight hug_

_“Happy birthday silly … see you didn't need my help”_

_Octavia had no idea how wrong that statement truly was. Clarke would have fallen apart many times if it had not been for her best friend, her sister, her partner in crime. Releasing O from her grasp her eyes were drawn to Bellamy as he made his way through the door, giving her an awkward look as he passed by the two girls._

_“Is he really not talking to me?”_

_“He is on his period or something I swear to god ...” O said, causing Clarke to laughing just a little_

_Well it was her day dammit and Bell was not going to ruin it or her mood. Whatever it was he needed to get over it and she intended to tell him that before the day was over._

_The party went off without a hitch and the remainder of the day was spent eating, talking, dancing, laughing and enjoying all the friends and family that were in attendance. Bell continued to avoid her and honestly she had begin to wonder why the hell did he even come if he intended to act like a wounded animal the entire time. She had done nothing wrong … and it was **her** birthday, he hadn't even told her happy birthday, they grew up together. Enough was enough she thought and the moment Bell left the deck and entered back into the house to grab another drink Clarke followed him._

_“I can't believe you haven't told me happy birthday”_

_Her voice had surprised him as he jumped slightly after looking up from the refrigerator. Without saying a word he turned and headed for the front door._

_“Wait … What the fuck Bell”_

_She followed him and just as he reached the front door she grabbed his arm and pulled him back so that he faced her. He looked annoyed or hurt, sad maybe … she couldn't tell but he didn't pull away, instead he just looked at her silently._

_“Why are you being like this,” she said pleading_

_“Is that for them … for Lexa?” Bell asked as he pointed down to the mural on her palm_

_Looking down she smiled as she noticed that the mural hadn't faded one bit, “Yes, you like it? I mean I took your suggestion … its my way of saying hi,” she said with a smile_

_She thought he would be happy that she took his suggestion but instead her eyes were meet with something else .. defeat …_

_“I can't be here, right now,”_

_“But why … you came in a week early just for my birthday and now you can't be here”_

_“ ...”_

_“Bell seriously -”_

_Clarke's words were cut off by Bellamy's lips on hers. The kiss caught her completely off guard, it was clearly unwelcome … well at least at first, he was needy and she felt it, his tongue begged to gain access to hers and without much thought she parted her mouth slightly allowing him access. The kiss was hungry but it was soft at the same time, she had never imagined kissing Bell but now that it was happening, it felt … nice. Bell pulled back to catch his breath and a silent moment passed between them, it was Clarke who leaned back in this time, taking Bell's bottom lip into her mouth and with a low moan there was no resistance from his side … fuck …_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops .... I'm sorry ok, I'm sorry ... I am just letting the characters tell me what they want. I am just the messenger please don't shoot me .. lol. 
> 
> Come stalk me. Ask me anything on Tumblr, strange, odd, theories, all is welcome  
> Twitter : https://twitter.com/therebel1986  
> Tumblr: https://therebel1986.tumblr.com/


	4. Rest Up Agent Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is faced with a very awake Lexa and must determine how she will proceed after learning who Special Agent Woods truly is. Lexa starts to remember what took place the night of the warehouse incident and Octavia may finally give Clarke some good advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically all of this chapter is told in the present and picks up right where chapter 2 left off. Thanks for sticking around, Story may end up being longer than 20 chapters still outlining. Enjoy the ride.

“ _Hi”_

_Her eyes shot up forward and meet those of a vibrant green as a faint raspy voice muttered a very simple greeting._

“ _Hey” Clarke whispered in return_

 

“Hello ...”

“Hi,” Clarke said smiling “I think we have already covered that part”

“Yeah .. right”

Clarke noticed the look of confusion on Lexa's face and was glad that she had not seen Clarke in the moment of panic that had just taken place.

 **'Everything is ok'** Clarke thought to herself.

“How are you feeling Special Agent Woods,” Clarke said as she slowly slipped her left hand into her lab coat pocket.

Clarke was not sure how she had regained her composure so quickly but the moment her eyes meet those of Lexa's, she forced down the panic that had risen in her core and did the one thing she had learned to do so well … pretend. Pretend that everything was ok, pretend that this beautiful women in front of her was not Lexa … _**her**_ Lexa. **'Hold it together Griffin,'** was the silent prayer that she repeated to herself as Lexa's green eyes scanned hers.

“I .. I am not sure. My head feels like it's being split in half ...”

“Well that is natural considering the severity of the concussion you sustained two nights ago,” Clarke stated plainly.

“It's been two days?”

“Yes, do you have somewhere to be?” Clarke said with a smile.

**'Stop flirting Clarke'**

“No … I just, I mean I am not the type to lay idly on their back for two days”

“Well if I have anything to say about it, you will be on your back for three more”

**'Clarke, seriously'**

A small smile formed on the corner of Lexa's lips, “I'm sorry … what was that?”

**'Oh God, she caught it .. Stop it'**

“Um …” shaking her head slightly as a small blush rose on her cheeks in the process “I just mean I am the physician overseeing your care here and I have noted a minimum of 5 days observation due to your injuries,” Clarke states pointing to Lexa's head and ribcage.

**'Smooth Clarke, real smooth'**

“Ah … ok, well thank you”

“No need, it's my job … not to overload you with information but you should know, that you have no traces of the COL virus in your bloodstream, you sustained a very serious concussion and a few bruised ribs but overall you are just fine.”

A small flash of emotion crossed Lexa's face, something that Clarke did not fully catch, maybe relief and something else …

“What about the others, there were two other Agents with me … Are they -”

“Ah, yes Agent Cypress and Agent Reyes … both are just fine. Neither had any traces of the COL and both have been released from my care already”

Clarke studied Lexa's face as she breathed out a long sigh and let her head fall back onto the pillow behind her.

“Well I will let you get some rest Agent Woods, if you need anything press the call button next to your bed, the bathroom is there,” pointing to her right “I will have someone bring in your belongs”

Unable to withstand the draw of Lexa any further, Clarke turned on her heels and left the room giving the beautiful Agent no chance to respond. Upon exiting the room, Clarke withdrew her hand from her pocket and looked down at it, feeling slightly confused but also completely wrapped in bliss. Taking a small glance back through the window of the door, Clarke caught Lexa watching her and for a moment she could have sore that there was a slight blush that formed on Lexa's cheeks. Biting her lower lip and turning her face away from the window Clarke headed out into the hallway, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket and sending off a quick text as she headed back to her office.

 **Princess M.D:** So … Lexa is hot

* * *

Lexa had not realized how long she had been staring at the blonde but when she caught the doctor taking a quick glance back at her, the pain in her head and chest became a dull sensation as the low ache she felt elsewhere had become all to present. She had been informed that it had been two days since the warehouse investigation and if Lexa was honest with herself she felt the full effects of the concussion since she could not fully remember the events of that night. Lexa was not the type to rest up however this time she was willing to make an exception.

She drifted in and out of consciousness, unable to keep her eyes from constantly closing until she was awakened by a nurse who brought in her clothes, cell phone, gun and other belongs and placed them on the nearby table.

“It seems you didn't get the worse of it … your phone took a beating as well” the young nurse said as she held up Lexa's cell phone that was now in two pieces.

**'Wonderful'**

“Is there a way for me to make a call” Lexa asked

“Anyone in particular? I can have Dr. Griffin get in touch with whoever you are after”

“Dr. Griffin … yes that would be helpful, I need to speak to my Chief Supervisor Gustus Rosewood”

“I will let Dr. Griffin know” the nurse said as she turned and left the room

Lexa settled back into the comfort of the bed and the stillness that filled the room, allowing her mind to clear as she sunk back into a deep sleep.

* * *

 The rest of the day went by in a blur for Clarke, she normally spent most of her days thinking about Lexa but this time it was very different. Lexa had always been an enigma, something untouchable to Clarke, unreachable, even to a certain extent unreal. However Lexa was very very real and in fact very touchable, two things that now had Clarke's mind in a state of disbelief. She needed to find a way to process what she had learned, she was confused and honestly at a lose for words. Having Lexa walk into her life was something she deep down had always wanted, dreamed about but now that it had happened, Clarke was struggling to accept that Lexa was in fact real, here and now. Lexa was a dream of a forever that Clarke was never going to have and yet she now lay within reach.

**'What the hell I am suppose to do'**

After getting in touch with Chief Supervisor Rosewood and informing him of Lexa's request. Clarke decided it was best to call it a day and head home. She was in no state to be there and she fought every cell in her body to not simply return to Lexa's room and just be with here, to look at her, breath in the same air as her if for nothing but just for a moment.

 **'Yeah, it was definitely time for go home.'** Clarke thought as she felt a slight vibration from her pocket

 **The Only Blake:** Did you two finally exchange pictures???

 **The Only Blake:** Took you long enough to grow a pair Clarkey

 **Princess M.D:** Don't need a picture when you can stare at the real thing :)

 **The Only Blake:** WHAT????

 **Princess M.D:** o__o

 **The Only Blake:** You are serious???

 **The Only Blake:** Clarke …

 **The Only Blake:** Clarke …

 **The Only Blake:** Details …

 **The Only Blake:** Clarke … ISTG

 **Princess M.D:** Nosey bitch, I am heading home

 **The Only Blake:** On my way over

 The drive home was uneventful and sure enough as Clarke reached her driveway Octavia was there looking like the smug bitch she was.

“Honestly grandma could you drive any slower, I have been waiting for 15 minutes. I need juice, details young lady … details”

“Grandma huh, well there was traffic and you have a key O, could have let yourself in, like you always do”

“I am a changed women, I will have you know. Now spill it”

“Can we take this inside please, it's been a really long day” Clarke pleaded

The events of the day must have been written on Clarke's face because instead of the interrogation on the front lawn that she had fully expected, O was more than willing to leave all further questions until Clarke was ready and in the comfort of her own home.

“So … lets try this again. Details”

Taking a deep breath, “Lexa, is one of the CIA agents that was involved in the COL alert two days ago.”

“How do you know it's her?”

“Well a stunning brunette by the name of Alexandria is laying in the beds at WHO with a fucking tic tac toe game on her left palm for one … my tic tac toe game, this tic tac toe game” Clarke said as she shoved her hand into Octavia's face

“Whoa, wait .. are you sure?”

Without saying a word, Clarke shoved her palm closer to Octavia's face

“ Ok, ok … what are the fucking chances, like one million to one? I can't believe this”

“You can't believe this, you … how the hell do you think I feel. I am so lost O, when I saw her palm I bolted, like literally almost ran out of my shoes”

“I can imagine” Octavia said with a small chuckle, “So you two finally had a proper introduction then. What did she say?”

“Well ...”

“Well, what?”

“Well, she was kind of passed out when I noticed her palm and like I just said O … I bolted”

“Wait, wait …” holding up her hand “You mean she doesn't know that you are her Clarke and she is your Lexa”

“No ...”

“Well, how the hell did you manage that”

“Um ..”

“Clarke ...”

“I ran, then I sort of hid my left hand in my pocket when I talked to her” Clarke said as covered her face with her hands in embarrassment … **'fuck'** ...

“Cute story to tell the grand kids at least”

“O this is serious”

“Fine … you are going to tell her right?”

“ … “

“Clarke ...”

“I don't know. I mean, I want to wait until the time is right. I can't just spring that on her. I mean it's been eight years if she wanted to meet we would have by now … right?”

Octavia simply shrugged her shoulders “I don't know Princess”

“Tell me again, why you are my friend. I mean you offer no help, ever”

“To bad you can't talk to Lexa about it … or maybe you can” Octavia said with a sly smile on her face

“What do you mean?”

“Well, maybe you should ask your palm what they would do in said situation”

Taking a moment to think, “That is actually not a bad idea O … congratulations one point for you”

“Thank you, thank you”

After all of these years, Octavia had finally given some sound advice, an idea that Clarke was seriously considering. Clarke was still caught somewhere between a dream and reality after the revelation of today and with having no real idea as to what she would do about it just yet, there was one thing she was sure of. She wanted to be in Lexa's presence and she wanted to know more about the tangible Lexa that lay in front of her just a few hours ago. If nothing else she would just continue to love Lexa in secret if in fact that was all they were ever meant to have.

* * *

  _Day 3_

Lexa had no idea what time it was but the florescent lights in her room were on, leading her to believe it was still daytime at least.

“Finally” a voice next to her said

Snapping her eyes open Lexa put the familiar voice to a very familiar face

“Raven”

“The one and only, I have been sitting here for the pass three hours waiting for you to wake up”

“What time is it” Lexa asked as she shifted to a sitting position.

She noticed Raven looked fresh, no bandages, or shown injuries, she sat in a chair that was previously not in the room with a laptop in front of her with varies cords running from here to there. Raven had set up shop in her room and Lexa had been none the wiser.

“It's a quarter pass 11am, nurse said you been out since yesterday evening sometime. Rosewood sent me over to debrief you.”

“I slept for another half day … wow. This concussion is kicking my ass”

“I can tell, have you showered … you need to shower, anyway first thing first” Raven said as she unplugged a cell phone and handed it to Lexa “Here is your new baby, I already loaded it with all of your info from the pile of scrapes that was your last phone, contacts, emails, everything good to go”

“Thanks Reyes, you are a life saver”

“Genius will do fine Commander, I will leave the life saving to you” Reyes said smiling “By the way do you remember what happened?”

“No … I remember sitting in the back of the Van with you and Anya, then there is this gap in time and next thing I remember is an explosion, then everything went black.”

“Hmm, so you don't remember who you saw that night in the warehouse?”

“No”

Moving closer to Lexa, Raven turned her laptop around and begin to show her a various array of pictures take that night from the video feeds that Raven had tapped into from inside the warehouse.

“So … after you and Anya left the Van, you two stumbled upon these vats” Raven pointed to them on the screen “they contained the precursor liquid to the COL virus strain, after further inspection of the grounds Anya and yourself found the building was a plant of sorts, being used to start the production of the COL virus itself. From what we can tell, nothing had been produced at this particular warehouse just yet but they were well on their way.”

Lexa studied the pictures as Raven went through them explaining and pointing out several facts that were completely hazy to Lexa. Certain things within the pictures jogged her memory slightly but everything was still a blur … well at least until she saw him.

“Thelonious” Lexa said, pointing at the screen

“Thelonious Jaha,” Raven said “CEO of the Bio-medical corp Seek Higher Things to be exact”

“That son of a bitch … he was there that night. I remember … I remember that face, that smug smile he had right before he blew me out of the second story window.” Lexa said deadpan

“Well that was easier than I thought it would be, we needed you to corroborate the the story with your debrief so Rosewood would have enough for us to start pursing this asshole”

“Good, there is something very off about that company. Always has been, everyone has just overlooked it because they played such a big part in Unity Day”

“Yeah, well now we have a real chance to uncover any and everything they have been hiding for years” Raven stated “Well my work here is done Commander and you have a date with that shower over there”

“Do I really smell that bad? … Actually don't answer that.”

Letting out a small laugh, Raven begin to gather up the small electronics store she had built by Lexa's bed side. “See you in a few days Commander, I hear the good doc has got you on lock down for at least two more days”

“Indeed she does, Dr. Griffin seemed keen on keeping me on my back”

“Oh really ...” Raven said wiggling her eyebrows “Care to elaborate on that”

Biting her lower lip as she thought about the beautiful doctor, “No … but I could really use that pen”

“My pen? Oh right … have to check in with the girlfriend, I almost forgot” Raven said smiling

“Clarke is not my girlfriend, she is just my unity -”

“Partner … yeah I know, we all know, we got it. Anyways here” Tossing her pen at Lexa “Keep it, I don't think I will want it back after you and Clarke are done with it, if you know what I mean”

“I don't even want to know what you think we do”

“Whatever you say … with your whipped ass, so whipped, you are whipped cream commander”

“Bye Raven” Lexa said, flipping Raven the bird as she left.

Slowing climbing out of the bed, Lexa made her way over to the bathroom door. Walking gingerly as she noticed the sharp pains in her rib cage as it contracted as she moved and breathed. The bathroom was small, but stocked, there were towels, soap, shampoo and a railing in the shower which Lexa planned on taking full advantage of as she had become all to aware that standing up was much more painful than laying down.

Once the water was to an acceptable temperature, Lexa removed the open back hospital gown and stepped into the shower, letting the water cleanse her, trying her best to rinse away the haze that her mind had been experiencing for the past 3 days. After taking several moments she begin to clean her body and as she looked down at her palm she saw the game slowly fade away. It had been there for several days due to her state of unconsciousness, though she did notice that Clarke had placed an “O” sometime during her hazy state. She took the time to scrub away the remaining traces of the tic tac toe game, leaving her palm as clear as her mind had just become.

* * *

  _Day 4_

Clarke had every intention to just keep avoiding Lexa, even if her thoughts betrayed her, it had been just over a day since she confided to Octavia that she had learned Lexa's true identity but she had as of yet figured out what the hell to do about it. So she had called out the day prior, citing a personal reason but truly it was all she could do to stop herself from making any excuse possible as to why she needed to keep visiting Lexa's room. Today however, she had a very valid reason and at the thought of it caused Clarke's insides to flip. As she sorted through Lexa's chart she noticed the thin layer of ink begin to faded into her palm.

**Have you ever had a reason to lay in bed for 2 days straight?**

**No. You?**

**Not until recently. Medical issues**

Clarke stared down at her palm **'fuck you need to tell her'** she thought, she is literally a few rooms away. **'What are you doing Clarke'**

**Are you ok?**

Clarke waited a few minutes but there was no reply, Lexa was probably contemplating on just how much to tell her, like she always have. Lexa never gave to much, always keeping her cards close to her chest Clarke thought and just then …

**Yes … Thanks for asking – Lexa**

She had signed it with her name, this was her way of letting Clarke know she was done with the topic. It was their sign off, something that both of them had agreed on years ago, it was there way of letting the other person know that they wished to change the topic, in order to avoid further prying into a subject at which either of them felt uncomfortable disclosing more information about. **'Well that is that'** Clarke thought as she used a wet wipe to remove all traces of the messages from her palm as she stood and made her way down the hall and to the room where Lexa was waiting.

Making her way around the corner, Clarke stood back and watched Lexa from a far, she could just see through the small window on the door. As she looked through she caught a glimpse of Lexa running her finger across her palm where the messages of the conversation they just had, had faded away. Taking a deep breath, Clarke steadied herself and opened that door.

“Good afternoon Agent Woods”

Lexa, quickly dropped her hands to her sides as Clarke entered the room

“Hello Dr. Griffin .. is it?” Lexa said smiling

“Yes, that is correct … how did you know-”

“The nurse and well everyone around here is constantly saying Dr. Griffin this, Dr. Griffin that.”

“Ah well, they could be referring to me or my mother. She is the Leading Medical Physician here at WHO”

“Oh … you work with your mother. Good, bad, indifferent?”

“Work with … nah, more like work for but it's good” Clarke said with a smile “Enough about me, how are you feeling?”

“Better, much better actually. I have been on my back for four days now. Thanks to you” Lexa said with a smirk

 **'I caught that'** Clarke thought to herself

“Good” Clarke said feeling the heat flush her cheeks

**'Stop blushing you idiot'**

“So, your concussion status has improved significantly so there is no cause for concern there but I do need to check on your ribs Agent Woods.”

Lexa gave a slight nod and with that Clarke entered into the bathroom and gave her hands a quickly wash with soap and water. **'Relax'** , moving from the bathroom and making her way to the left side of the bed Clarke could not help but notice how those green eyes followed her every move with such intensity.

“I am going to have to pulled this gown aside so that I can take a look at your ribs … ok”

“Whatever you need to do Dr. Griffin” Lexa stated plainly as her eyes never left Clarke's

Moving so that she was inches away from Lexa's body, she begin to pull the garment up and to the side, careful not to expose things that were unnecessary. As the gown made it way over framing Lexa's body as the full left side of her became on display, Clarke could do nothing but swallow hard at the lovely sight before her. Eventhough the upper part of her rib cage was deeply bruised and red Clarke could see the toned sexy frame that was Lexa Woods.

**'Oh God'**

Clarke could feel Lexa's eyes on her, watching her, but she did not look up to meet her gaze. She could see Lexa's breath speed up due to her rub cage rising and falling faster than it had prior to being exposed and Clarke had to admit she was pleased that she was not the only one being affected by this moment. Slowly she moved her hands up, hovering for a split second over the bruised area. Letting her hands come down to rest gently on Lexa's ribs using her fingers to press down and trace each one methodically.

She was soft, her skin was so very smooth and in that moment Clarke let herself explore Lexa, taking her time, feeling Lexa breath in and out at her touch, hearing the small catches in Lexa's breath as Clarke pressed into her taking great care not to apply to much force and cause discomfort.

“Does this hurt”

“No”

“Feel any discomfort when breathing” Clarke asked as she finally looked up to meet the green eyes that stared at her

“Some, but nothing I can't handle”

Clarke pressed harder now, pushing between the third and fourth ribs causing a soft whimper to escape for Lexa mouth … 'fuck' …

“There pain or discomfort?” Clarke asked eyes never leaving Lexa's

“A bit of both …”

“Good, they are healing … you will be in some discomfort for the remaining weeks though.”

Lexa nodded her head and with that Clarke leaned back removing her hands allowing Lexa to pull the gown back down covering her exposed side. Clarke did not look away and nor did Lexa, they stayed looked in the glance as moments passed between.

“I will sign off for you to be released tomorrow, but you need to take it easy on your ribs for a few weeks”

“Can''t promise that”

“It's your body Agent Woods, I can't tell you what to do with it”

“You could try …”

**'Fuck'**

“Have a good evening Woods”

“Griffin”

Biting her bottom lip, Clarke quickly turned and left the room thankful there was no one waiting outside in the hallway that would see her flushed face … fuck …

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned much more interaction of Clexa in this chapter but these two were not ready just yet for that ... slow burn, I know. 
> 
> Come stalk me. Ask me anything on Tumblr, strange, odd, theories, all is welcome  
> Twitter : https://twitter.com/therebel1986  
> Tumblr: https://therebel1986.tumblr.com/


	5. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is finally free to leave the WHO facility but not before her and Anya do a little investigating. Clarke is stuck between a rock and a hard place, what will she do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small flashback in this chapter it's in italics ... Enjoy!

**Hope you are feeling better XOXO – Clarke**

Looking down, Lexa noticed the neatly written phrase etched into her palm which instantly brought a smile to her face. A smile that she herself knew was only reserved for Clarke, even though they have never seen each other face to face, the thought of Clarke always seem to evoke emotions that Lexa usually tried to hide. It had been 5 days since the warehouse incident, 5 days of well needed rest, 5 days mostly spent sleeping but she had been informed that Dr. Griffin had signed off on her release and that her partner Agent Cypress was on her way to pick her up from the facility. Lexa had not seen the doctor since their last encounter which had left her uncomfortably wet and aching to have Dr. Griffin's hands much lower than her ribcage.

As Lexa thought back on the doctors fingers being on her, she could not help the red blush that formed on her cheeks, nor the heat and low ache that started in her lower body. There was something about Dr. Griffin that felt very familiar but she was just another stranger. Over the years, several strangers had come and gone in Lexa's life, never allowing anyone deep into her world, no one since Costia years ago. Lexa had learned the hard way, that no one liked to be second choice, not second to a job and definitely not second to an invisible woman.

 

“ _I can't do this Lex, I won't keep doing this,”_

“ _I'm sorry, I know it is not fair but -”_

“ _No, it's not fair … not fair to me or to you. I can't compete with her,” Costia sighed_

“ _It's not a competition Cos and you know it. I love you”_

“ _I know …”_

“ _... I love her too,”_

“ _I know … and that is why I can't do this. You didn't even give me a chance. I have been working at a disadvantage since the day we meet”_

“ … _I … I am sorry Cos, I never wanted this, never wanted to hurt you”_

“ _I know, good intentions and all that …”_

“ _I don't want you to go but it's selfish of me to ask you to stay so …”_

“ _You think I want this, you think I am enjoying having my heart ripped out of my chest but every time I look at you, I see you Lex …. When you look at me, what do you see?”_

_Lexa moved her eyes over the woman that stood before her, she was beautiful, she was amazing but she was not her … “ … Ah, I'm sorry”_

_A single tear slide down Costia's cheek as she slightly shook her head “I was yours Lex, completely … thought you were mine. I am such an idiot”_

“ _Please, Cos … you are not, this is my fault. I … please don't do that, don't blame yourself”_

“ _I have to go,” Costia said in a hushed tone as she grabbed her bags and rushed from the apartment._

 

That was a hard day, Lexa had lost someone very important to her but it was also the day in which she had finally admitted to herself that she indeed had feelings for Clarke. That she loved Clarke, even with as impossible as it may have seemed. Costia had believed that Lexa was hers … but Lexa knew that was a title held only by Clarke. Living in the shadow of a invisible woman was a cross that Costia could not bear and Lexa hated herself for ever making her bear it. From that day forward Lexa had not let anyone into her heart again, she had built a wall around it and the only one there was Clarke.

“Oh, look who is still in the land of the living,”

Lexa was drawn back into the moment as she heard Anya's voice from the doorway.

Smiling as she turned to see her friend “I didn't hear you come in … yes I am alive and well”

“Glad to hear it Commander”

Before Lexa could respond Anya had crossed the room and wrapped her in a tight hug that seemed to last a little longer than normal. It was a tense and awkward hug at first seeing as neither were the typical hugging type but they each relaxed into the others arms.

“I am really glad you are ok, for a second there I thought … I thought this bitch is really going to leave me here with Raven”

A small chuckle passed between the two of them and they pulled away from each other.

“Awww, you were worried about me”

“Shut it … and don't you dare tell Raven any of this, I will never hear the end of it”

“Your secret it safe with me … so can we get out of here or what”

“Well not so fast, we have to go see the good doctor first. Rosewood thinks it would be a prime opportunity to learn some inside info about WHO's connection to the Seek Higher Things Corp and also talk to Wells Jaha in the process, he works here… that is, if you are up for it”

A small smile formed on Lexa's face “Lead the way”

* * *

 Clarke was sitting in her office aimlessly twirling a pen in her hand as she looked down at the paperwork that lay on her desk before her. She had spent the first half of the morning signing the release papers for Lexa and contemplating on the next steps to take. She had woke up with the thought of Lexa on her mind, which was honestly nothing new but everything was different now, everything was new because Lexa was right here.

Clarke was so lost in thought that she almost not heard the voices moving down the hallway and toward her office until she heard _**her**_ … 'shit', an instant moment of panic washed over Clarke as she scrambled and stood behind her desk taking a quick glance over her office.

'Oh God'

Clarke's haste glance rendered nothing, first taking the papers on her desk and shoving them into a drawer as she straighten the remainder of the materials. Moving from around her desk and heading toward the hallway, looking over she saw her name Dr. C. Griffin imprinted on the door and letting out a small sigh of relief. 'No first name' she thought. The voices in the hallway were getting closer and as she peaked out she could see Lexa and Agent Cypress talking to someone who had gestured toward her office.

'Shit, shit, shit'

Ducking back into the room, taking one final glance over her office, she saw it … there it was, staring her right in the face, Dr. Clarke Griffin written in large bold letters on the nameplate sitting on her desk that faced the doorway.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck'

She could think of nothing else, the panic that rose in her chest caused her to feel slightly light headed, her legs almost betrayed her as she rushed to her desk, feeling her hands on the nameplate just as -

“Griffin”

Taking a deep breath, letting her hand slip from the nameplate as she turned slowly, maneuvering her body to block Lexa's line of sight.

“Woods”

'Stay calm'

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Lexa questioned as she looked around the office

“No …”

It was the first time that Clarke had seen Lexa standing, fully aware and in all of her glory. Lexa was stunning to say the least, her long brown hair was pulled back into a tight bun, the bruise on her face had all but faded, she stood impeccably straight which only insinuated the elongation of her elegant neck and she wore a white button down dress shirt with black slacks. Her frame was slender but as Clarke had learned yesterday it was soft with sculpted muscle, her green eyes penetrated Clarke in a way that made her feel almost naked standing there in front of her, Clarke could not look away as their eyes meet and she swallowed hard as her eyes fell to Lexa's lips.

“Dr. Griffin, we were wondering if we could have a word with you” Anya asked

Clarke was thankful for the interruption, breaking the trance that Lexa seemed to always pull her into.

“Um … Sure Agent Cypress, what can I help you with?”

“Well now that I have my partner back, we are proceeding with our investigation and -”

“We need your help” Lexa stated as she cut off her partner

There was something behind the way Lexa had said those words, something that Clarke did not fully catch.

“Anything you need” Clarke said as her eyes never left Lexa's

There was a hidden meaning there but she did her best to not let her voice betray her.

“Great, Agent Reyes sent over a few things to have your team analyze and what can you tell us about Seek Higher Things,” Anya asked

“Seek Higher Things … how are they involved?”

“At the moment we are not sure, but we understand that Wells Jaha is a Tier 3 Epidemiologist working here at WHO”

“Yes, he is actually one of my very good friends”

“Mind introducing us,” Lexa asked

“Of course,” With her right hand that rested on her desk behind her, she silently laid the nameplate flat down on her desk as she motioned with her left hand “Right this way,” it was only then that she noticed the forgotten message written there.

**Hope you are feeling better XOXO – Clarke**

'Fuck'

Clarke quickly brushed passed the two Agents in her doorway and slide her left hand into her lab coat pocket. Thank God for lab coats and thank God for the fact that Lexa had been standing on the opposite side of her open palm when she had so carelessly motioned toward the door. She needed to tell Lexa, this was getting out of hand fast and the constant state of panic was starting to give Clarke a migraine.

“Wells works down on level b-3, its a bit of a journey, we can stop by my teams lab on the way to have them take a look at what you brought over Agent Cypress”

“Sounds like a plan”

“What can you tell us about Thelonious Jaha” Lexa asked

* * *

 The trio entered the elevator and Clarke used her key-card to access the lower restricted levels. She settled into the corner furthest away from Lexa, thinking it was best to keep as much distance as possible between them for her own personal sanity and for Lexa's personal safety. Clarke had a strong temptation to blatantly maul Lexa right here in the elevator in front of Agent Cypress and not think twice about it.

'Self control Griffin'

“Thelonious was a friend of the family, my father was the top structural engineer for Seek Higher Things. He was the go to for all repairs and innovations for improvements to their facilities but after her passed away, things changed. Thelonious stopped calling, stopped coming around but Wells never changed.”

“How long did your father work for Thelonious”

“Not very long Agent Cypress, Thelonious hired him for the position once he became CEO, my father died about a year later”

“I am sorry about your father” Lexa said

“Thank you Agent Woods”

A moment passed between them and Clarke had hoped that it had gone unnoticed by the other Agent standing in their presence. She was proven wrong when Agent Cypress cleared her throat and spoke.

“So … Seek Higher Things, how are they connected to the WHO”

Turning her attention away from Lexa and regaining every once of composure she had left.

“Well I am sure you know the basic story, when the COL nearly wiped us out, it was this organization that discovered the cure as well as the creation of the Ascension DNA replicator. The WHO had the medical know all but it was Seek Higher Things that had the delivery process covered. The synthetic solution they created combined with the DNA replicator work in harmony and Unity day was born.”

The bing from the elevator drew their attention as they all turned to exist, being trapped in a small space with Lexa had proved anything but easy.

As they walked down the long hall that consisted of many rooms, all having large windows looking into them, each room was filled with assorted lab equipment and various amounts of staff.

“Welcome to level b-2, my pride and joy”

Clarke lead them down the hall and into one of the larger rooms that was filled with staff. Making their way through the room as they came to stand in front of a center console.

“Dr. Griffin”

“Griffin, hows it going”

“Griffters”

“Dr. G”

'Please don't say Clarke'

Breathing a sigh of relief as the last greeting passed without a hitch.

“What exactly do you need analyzed?”

Agent Cypress extended her hand and gave Clarke a small transparent bag that contained several small vials of liquid, each varying in color.

“Agent Reyes grabbed these from the warehouse site after the debris settled, we need to know everything about them”

“Got it,” Clarke said as she grabbed the bag and passed it to one of the nearby staff members. “Need these done, highest priority … oh also page Wells tell him he is needed in b-2 asap”

* * *

 Clarke looked over and saw Wells approaching them, she excused herself and made her way over to her friend, stopping him a few feet away.

“Hey, what's up?” Wells asked as he glanced over at the two Agents looking in his direction

“Honestly, I don't l know but they need to talk to you about your father”

“My father … of course, what has he gone and done now”

Clarke simply shrugged at Wells as he shook his head and they both made their way back over to Lexa and Agent Cypress. After a quick introduction, Agent Cypress lead Wells a few feet away as she took out a pen and paper and begin to question him, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone and to their own devices.

“Thank you for your today help Griffin”

“The pleasure is mine plus if I would have said no then ...” Clarke stated as she looked over at Lexa

“I would have to arrest you”

“Arrest … really?” Clarke raised her eyebrow

“Mhmm … well cuff you at least” Lexa said as she bite her bottom lip

“Sounds like you just want me restrained”

“Maybe I do ...”

“Maybe I should have said no” Clarke teased as she sent her tongue over her bottom lip, biting it slightly as she raised her eyes up from Lexa's lips and back to her eyes.

'What the hell is going on'

Whatever the hell it was, Clarke liked it and it seemed Lexa did to as the blush on her cheek was any give away. It took everything in Clarke to not jump Lexa right then and there, she was amazing, her mouth, that face, God she loved that face.

'You need to tell her Griffin'

Clarke's body may have been physically present but she, her being was entirely somewhere else. She honestly did not notice Wells return until …

“Clarke, Clarke ...”

“What?” Clarke said deadpan, in a second nature way that snapped her back to reality

'Shit'

“I will talk to you later, gonna head back to b-3, nice meeting you Agent Woods”

There was a moment that passed that felt like an eternity as she watched Wells walk around, she turned back to see Lexa's face, showing something between confusion and disbelief …

“Your name is Clarke … ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ... yeah that happened. Love to hear what you think in the comments below or 
> 
> Feel free to stalk me. Ask me anything on Tumblr, strange, odd, theories, all is welcome  
> Twitter : https://twitter.com/therebel1986  
> Tumblr: https://therebel1986.tumblr.com/


	6. Clarke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa comes face to face with Dr. Griffins first name, leaving her to deal with all the emotions that it evokes in her. Anya, Raven and Lincoln all have something to say about it but it is Lexa who has to decide what she wishes to believe. Head over Heart or Vice Versa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are several flashbacks in this chapter, they are in Italics

“Yes”

Such a simple word but it was a word that in a very instant changed Lexa's world and in that moment time itself stood still. The word hung in the air, like a balloon filled with helium, floating, wistfully between them as it waited to be pooped.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked with hesitation and disbelief

“... Yes ... Clarke”

Clarke … it was a name that meant more to her than she herself had come to realize. Was she her Clarke, the Clarke … Questions sparked in her mind, one after the other, her brain moving faster than her mouth, not allowing time for her to catch up, not allowing time for her to form any semblance of a proper sentence. All words were lost and only one word remain. Clarke.

“How long has your name been Clarke?”

There was something written on the blonde's face at the asking of that question, amusement, maybe it was confusion, maybe it was surprise … 'did she know'.

“Well … forever, I mean -”

“We are good here Woods, we should head -”

Anya's voice was the only thing that brought Lexa back into the moment as her mind came to a halt. 'Her fucking name is Clarke'

“Anya,” Lexa said in a harsher tone than she meant, “Give us a minute”

Nodding her head as she looked from Lexa, to Clarke and back again, “I will be by the elevator,” Anya said as she turned and headed off down the hall.

Lexa waited for Anya to be out of earshot before she turned her attention back to Dr. Griffin 'Clarke', something had happened, something had changed … Lexa was not sure what, but the air around them had become heavy and full of tension. The casual, carefree light around the doctor had changed and was replaced with … 'embarrassment' … was she scared? Lexa had no idea what was going on, things had become unreadable and all she could do was stare at the beautiful blonde in front of her.

'Her fucking name is Clarke …. CLARKE'

“I'm not sure what you are thinking but -”

“Have dinner with me” Lexa blurted out

“Dinner?”

“Yes”

“Are you sure this is a good -”

“Yes or no Clarke”

“Asking or commanding”

Lexa said nothing instead she simply raised her eyebrow and gave a passive look toward the blonde.

“Yes”

'There was that word again'

“Good” Lexa said as her eyes never left those of the blonde in front of her.

Who was she? Is she mine? If not, I could make her mine, 'Her fucking name is Clarke' Lexa thought as she turned and walked away. Lexa needed to put some serious space between them and with every step toward the elevator she gained back a small amount of the composure that had completely left her moments ago. In it's absence, confusion, want, disbelief and mayhem had replaced it.

As she approached the elevator, she was silent, her brain was still processing what she had just learned and by the look on Anya's face she knew something was askew. Before Anya could even ask, Lexa raised her hand in the air and gave a slight nod of her head while keeping her eyes trained on the elevator in front of her. She dared not turn around, even though she was a great distance away from Clarke she could still feel the press of those blue eyes peering into her, in that moment she was naked.

They waited, seconds felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours. 'Hurry up you slow piece of shit' Lexa thought as the elevator remained on it's descent. She had not heard the sound at first but the rhythmic thud of footsteps behind them were getting closer and closer, each step increasing in the smallest pace … it was Clarke, she knew it without even turning around. 'STOP'

'Hurry up, hurry up'

'No, not you Clarke, slow the fuck down'

Bing!

“Going down” Anya said casually with a smirk

Lexa found nothing amusing about it, in fact she did not wait a second longer before she hurried into the elevator. With her back still facing the ever approaching Clarke, she closed her eyes, waiting until she heard the slide of the doors closing behind her. She turned around, looking up and opening her eyes just in time to see the beautiful blonde standing right outside of the elevator door with her left hand raised in the air … waving a slight goodbye. She could barely make out the smudged Ink ...

'What the fuck was that'

The ride back up to the upper levels of the WHO facility were quiet and somewhat a blur, Lexa's mind was going a mile a minute. She followed Anya out of the elevator, through the facility and out of the front door to the parked black sedan. Her feet carried her, but her mind was elsewhere as she slide into the passenger side of the car.

“Earth to Lexa … Hello” Anya said as she snapped her fingers in front of Lexa's face “Bitch are you there … the fuck is wrong with -”

“Her name is Clarke”

“What?”

“Clarke … her name is”

“Jesus Lex, yes everyone is aware that your girlfriends name is Clarke, what the hell is up your -”

“DrGfriffinsnameisClarke”

“What”

“Doc-tor Grif-fins name is Cla-rke”

“What”

“Exactly ...”

“Wait … when, how … what the hell Lex … your Clarke or just some randy?”

“I don't fucking know An … just drive, please I need to lay down”

Without another word Anya started the car and pulled out of the facilities parking lot. Anya did drive however she would not stop talking. Halfway through the ride Lexa had finally managed to tune her out but as she ran her finger over the center of her left palm and let her gaze stare blanking out of the window she become lost in her thoughts of years before and wondered how on earth had she gotten here.

 

_**Only child. Favorite color?** _

_**Green. Favorite Pastime?** _

_**Morning Runs. Middle name?** _

_**Abigail. Kissing or Cuddling?** _

_**Both. So you are a girl then?** _

_**Pick one, cheater. Yes?? Thought I was a guy this whole time?** _

_**Canoodling. Your name is pretty gender neutral Clarke** _

_**Still cheating. Are you of the female persuasion?** _

_**Yes** _

_**So you thought I was a guy, you are a girl, did you think we would *wiggles eyebrows*** _

_**If you were a guy, there definitely would never be any *wiggles eyebrows*** _

_**Noted. Good thing I am a girl than – Clarke** _

* * *

Anya was still speaking as Lexa, existed the vehicle and slammed the door shut mid sentence, she had not heard a word of what Anya had said for the last half of the drive to her apartment. Lexa had been lost in thought and as she made her way to the entrance she heard the blatant honks from the car behind her. Anya was laying on the horn now as Lexa made her way to the door, without turning around she silently flipped her middle finger in the air behind her as the doorman ushered her into the building.

'Clarke'

Five days ago Lexa knew where her life was going, she knew what she wanted, she knew that the only forever she was meant to have was wrapped somewhere between Ascension and dreams but now … now she knew nothing and all that remained was 'Clarke'.

As she opened her apartment door, she was greeted with the familiar, something that right now in this very moment she needed more than air itself. She needed to feel numb, she needed her constant … she needed Clarke. Was that even an option now she thought … had she lost that in the moment in which a simple name had choose to reveal itself.

“Clarke … are you my Clarke” she whispered as she tossed her bag on the floor and collapsed unto the couch.

Her eyes had not been closed for very long before she heard a ping and felt a slight vibration coming from her pants pocket.

 

 **Neo:** Hot blonde doctor is Clarke???

 **Commander:** I am going to kill Anya …

 **Neo:** Holy shit!!

 **Neo:** Is she yours?

 **Commander:** Your guess is as good as mine Raven

 **Neo:** Well it would explain a few things …

 **Commander:** Such as?

 **Neo:** Such as, the time I caught her staring at you through your room window like she was about to tie you up to the bedpost 50 shades of Woods style

 **Commander:** … Wtf when?? And why didn't you tell me?

 **Neo:** Must have slipped my mind … plus you needed a shower, your smell probably scared her off :)

 **Commander:** -_-

 **Neo:** Plans? How are we proceeding? Do you need me to bug her house?

 **Commander:** Lol, thanks Reyes but not so fast …

 **Commander:** I am still processing, not even sure she is my Clarke and even if she is … then what?

 **Neo:** *wiggles eyebrows*

 **Commander:** Smh. Thanks for the tip

 **Neo:** Oh I am sure she would want more than just the tip ;)

 **Commander:** -_-

 **Neo:** Look Woods, stop thinking and just … do. Have fun, you deserve it, it has been a while hasn't it Commander?

 **Commander:** Maybe …

 **Neo:** Well then it's settle, go fuck her brains out and tell me all the dirty deets … now go, off with you

 **Commander:** Lol, later Reyes

 **Neo:** Woods

 

“Siri, make a note to kill Anya”

“Creating your note … Got it”

Tossing her phone onto the coffee table beside her as she rolled over on her back, taking a deep breath as a sharp pain from her ribs echoed through her body. 'Fuck' she was still nowhere close to being fully healed and she hated that even her bruised body betrayed her by forcing all thoughts toward the Clarke that stood before her just a few hours ago. She needed to clear her mind, gain some perspective and there was only one way in which she knew how to do that. Pushing herself up from the couch, she made her way to her bedroom, quickly changing, put on her running sneakers and headed out.

She had only meant to run a few times around her apartment block but after her feet hit the pavement, muscle memory took over, the subtle pain from her ribs that cascaded up and through her chest, only made her push harder. She no idea where her feet where leading her and she truly didn't care but when her body finally said enough, she struggled for breath in between the sharp pains in her chest as she looked up and saw the familiar park that stood in front of her.

“Well, well, look what the cat dragged in”

Lexa would recognize his voice anywhere, a small smile formed on her face as she looked over to her right and saw the only real family she had left.

“Linc, what are you doing here”

“Same as you it seems … clearing my mind,” he said as he made her way over to her and took her into a gentle embrace “I'm glad you are ok cuz, I was worried … Anya told me what happened”

She relaxed into his embrace, Lincoln had always been the one person in her life she could trust unconditionally.

“So, come on … let's do this”

* * *

6 Years Ago

' _Where is she' Lexa thought as her green eyes scanned the crowded bleachers. It was her premier race as a starting member of Georgetown University's cross country team. She allowed her eyes to move quickly from row to row until she saw her … there, there she was 'Clarke'._

_The girl's eyes were focused on Lexa, studying her, giving Lexa the courage to stare back with a knowing smirk that in turn produced a slight blush on the girl's lovely cheeks. 'Yep, this will work' Lexa thought as she relinquished her eyes from the girl and proceed to look over the crowd. It was only seconds later when she found Indra and Lincoln. They were both standing, cheering, Indra was smiling at her while Lincoln simply nodded his head and gave her a thumbs up._

_'Let's do this'_

_Lexa made her way to the starting line, taking a few deep breaths as she prepared her mind and body for what was about to come. She had done this so many times, she loved this and just as she blocked out the noise of the crowd, she settled into the solace of her mind and the sound of the starting gun rang through the air. She pushed off the line and everything else faded away._

_'Clarke ...'_

_'Almost there'_

_The ground blurred below her feet as she fell into the rhythmic pace of her breath, matching it step for step as the feeling of warmth seeped into her muscles from the rush of adrenaline that now coursed through her veins. She could hear the steady thud of her footsteps and those that lingered far in the distance behind her as they echoed through her ears and the rush of second wind propelled her forward._

_'Clarke'_

_Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead, she could taste the air that now rushed in and out of her lungs as she steadied it for the last mile that lay a head of her. There was nothing stopping her from claiming this victory as she rounded the final bend, she pushed into a sprint as the crowd came back into view. Running gave her solace, it was the only time in which her mind truly felt like her own, it was in these moments that thoughts of Clarke always found a way to flood in. How had this happened, why had this happened, she loved Clarke blindly and without hesitation._

_'Just a little further'_

_Running was her addition and so was Clarke it only made sense that the two would combine together so perfectly. The finish line was in sight and the mild burn in her lungs had just begun, the noise of the crowd pulled her from thought and she immediately looked over at the bleachers in search of her ..._

_'Clarke'_

_There she was … their eyes meet once again and the girl stood, cheering louder as Lexa moved closer and closer to the line, this was it she thought and as she crossed the finish line her breathing hitched in her throat as she looked toward the sky, taking deep breaths to calm her screaming lungs inside her chest. She had done it, won her first race of the season and all she could hear was the roaring crowd around her as the name Clarke escaped her lips in a hushed whisper just low enough to be carried by the wind up and toward the endless clouds._

“ _Who is the victim this time?” Lincoln asked as he approached_

_Lexa nodded her head up toward the pretty girl in the bleachers “her … though unlucky is more like it”_

“ _Nothing like having your girl in the stands cheering for you huh”_

“ _I guess, … if only it were actually my girl”_

_'My Clarke'_

“ _You know, you can rectify that ...”_

“ _Nothing is that simple,” Lexa said with a shake of her head_

“ _All you have to do is ask her, maybe she would come”_

“ _Maybe she wouldn't, maybe -”_

“ _Maybe she would surprise you Lex … you have to start giving people more credit, she cares about you, even I can see that”_

“ _Caring and love are two very different things and well … we both know where I stand”_

“ _So find out where she stands … what are you so afraid, love is not weakness”_

* * *

'Love is not weakness'

Those words lingered in her mind now and she and Lincoln came to a halt after their final lap of running. Lincoln had not spoken once during their run, he knew how she worked and above all else he understood her. They were so much alike she thought, he respected her and had allowed the run to do it's job.

“So … what are you going to do about this Clarke thing?”

“How do you - … Raven” Lexa sighed

“Raven”

“I am going to kill her ...”

Lexa and Lincoln both laughed as they walked over to the nearby bench and took a sit.

“Honestly Linc … I don't know”

“Is she yours?”

“I don't -”

“Lex … is she yours?”

“... Maybe, I did ask her out … kind of” Lexa said sheepishly

“And ...”

“And … she said yes but -”

“Lex look … the Gods have smiled on you since the day of your Ascension, what makes you think they would fail you now”

It was a simple statement but it was more than true, her Ascension day had changed her, a small trace of hope had grew in that day and the day Clarke had ascended changed her world.

“Why are you so afraid to be happy?”

Lexa pondered that for a moment, all of her life she had mostly felt undeserving of love, questioning any and everyone who offered it to her. She had been taught that love was weakness from a very early age … how do you change the way you think, in order to not continue to hurt those around you she thought. Costia had loved her and she had destroyed Cos in return. She didn't deserve happiness.

“Take a leap of faith Lex, you more than anyone else I know deserve love and happiness. Look let's get you home ok. My car is over there”

Lexa entered her apartment and headed straight for the shower, she was thankful for the ride home as her ribs were killing her. She had overdone it today but the pain was a delicious distraction as she washed away all of the thoughts of the day. Existing the shower, she dried off quickly, changed into some boxers and a t-shirt as she headed toward the living room. Grabbing her phone from the table she ordered some Chinese takeout for the night and looked down at her phone.

“Siri, make a not to kill Raven”

“Creating your note … Got it”

Placing her phone back on the table, she grabbed the pen laying nearby … looking down at her palm 'now or never' she thought. Maybe Dr. Griffin was her Clarke, maybe she wasn't, maybe her Clarke will wonder why the hell she was writing random address information to her, either way there was only one way to go and it was forward.

**La Tasca Resturant, 7pm Wed night - Lexa**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come stalk me. Ask me anything on Tumblr  
> Twitter : https://twitter.com/therebel1986  
> Tumblr: https://therebel1986.tumblr.com/


	7. Lexa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is pushed to the limit as her world comes crumbling down around her. Thoughts of Lexa give Clarke comfort in the times that she needs it most and a family secret creates a rift that opens old wounds and creates new ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember flashbacks are in italics ... enjoy!

“Dr. G are you ok?”

A voice from behind Clarke asked as she stood facing the closed doors of the elevator in front of her, hand still raised in the air in an awkward attempt at a goodbye or maybe she was just trying to hail a cab, at the point Clarke truly had no idea. She had every intention to speak actual words however the connection from her brain to her lips had failed her once Lexa turned and their eyes meet as the elevator doors closed between them.

'What the fuck was that Griffin'

“Ugh, yeah … I'm great” Clarke said faintly as she sighed and dropped her hand back to her side.

This day had gone from zero to a hundred in no time flat and breathing had become a very difficult process at the moment. Clarke usually considered herself well prepared and calm in most situations but Lexa had a way of completely throwing her off of her game with a simple glance or look. It was starting to get a tad ridiculous and now that Lexa knew who she was, Clarke could only wonder how this would play out. These were uncharted waters and Clarke was very afraid of drowning.

“I'm heading down to b-3 for a bit, page me if you need me” Clarke said as she heading toward the emergency stairs to descend, thinking that she had her fill of elevator rides for the time being.

Pushing through the doors of the hallway entrance to b-3 Clarke made a b-line toward Wells' office, as she approached she saw him sitting behind his desk on the phone. She reached his office unnoticed by him, lightly tapping on the window to draw his attention, he looked up, gave a nod of his head and waved Clarke into his office.

“Well I am not really sure … I have to go” … are the finally words that Clarke caught of the conversation that Wells was just finishing as he hung up the phone.

“So, what did Cypress and Woods want?”

“Information on my father, wanted to know when I talked to him last … things I had no answers to” Wells said with a look of exasperation on his face

“I know he has been MIA for a while”

“A while is putting it lightly Clarke, I haven't seen my father in over a year”

“Why is that?”

Wells shook his head, “I have no idea, the day before he left, he was going on about some big break through … how they were going to change everything”

“They … you mean Seek Higher Things?”

“Yeah but mostly him and Alie”

“Alie … who is -”

Wells stood up quickly as he moved passed Clarke in a rush to close the door to his office, trying to draw the lest amount of attention as possible.

“I need to tell you something but it can't leave this room … ok”

“Ok”

“Promise me Clarke”

The look on his face seemed beyond desperate, she had never seen her friend look so scared or maybe panicked, something was off.

“I promise”

Taking a deep breath, Wells proceed “Ok .. so you do you remember Becca Herald?”

“Becca, as in former CEO of Higher Things .. Becca?”

“Yeah her, you know she was like hella smart right … well she apparently had some prototype for some sort of A.I.”

“A.I. … what sort of A.I., like IRobot A.I. or like Haley Joel Osment A.I.”

“More like that latter … walking, talking, thinking A.I. She kept this shit under raps for years, hadn't quite worked out the kinks is how my father had put it”

“Ok ...”

“Look, all I know is that it wasn't the first time that Seek Higher Things had dabbled in A.I. … in fact it's like a well kept secret over there. The minute my father become CEO his main priority was getting that A.I up and functioning. I found somethings once on my father's laptop by accident, he gave me some bullshit excuse about how it was just test algorithms and another prototype but he lied … it's probably why he named it Alie.”

“Alright ,ok … so what does this have to do with anything?”

“I honestly don't know but I just have a feeling that my father has done something bad and Alie has helped him with it. His obsession with that A.I has been his life for years, he has this big belief that this A.I is the answer to all of humanities problems.”

“Why didn't you tell me any of this before?”

“Your father Clarke … “

“My father … what about my father Wells”

Shaking his head “It's not my place to -”

“Wells ...”

“We both lost our father's that day” Wells said as he looked door toward the ground, “Please ask just talk to you mother ok ...”

“Wells … what the fuck -”

“Clarke .. please”

Clarke was watching her friend intently and the mention of her father always brought up emotions that she did her best to keep hidden and tucked away but she wanted to know more, wanted to know what Wells was hiding from her, she deserved that much didn't she.

'I thought we were friends'

She wanted to press him, to call him out and make a scene but there was something in his eyes, some trace of sorrow and sadness, a sense of weight that he carried … he was her friend and because of that she couldn't bring herself to push the issue further.

“Fine” Clarke said in defeat as she pushed passed Wells and headed out of the office

She had gone to Wells office seeking answers but had only been left with more questions. Thoughts of her father now filled her mind and apparently the only one who could give her the answers she now sought was her mother.

'Could things get anymore complicated'

* * *

 Clarke tossed her keys into the bowl on the table as she entered her house. It had been a long day and her mind was filled with questions, thoughts and emotions that she did her best to ignore and displace as she entered the comfort of her home. She wanted nothing more than to be invisible at the moment, to not exist, to be numb … she needed Lexa.

'It's always been you Lexa'

As she crossed the threshold to her bedroom she dropped her medical bag in the corner and fell face first down on her bed, letting the soft duvet comfort her body. She spent several minutes just breathing, letting her body relax and allowing the tension of the day to disappear with each passing second. Events of the day begin to replay in her mind and after all that had taken place she couldn't help but smile to herself as she realized how trivial her day had begun where hoping no one called her Clarke in front of Lexa was her biggest worry.

'Lexa'

Clarke kept her eyes closed as she rolled on her back, wedging her heels against the bed in order to kick off her shoes. The ceiling fan above her oscillated slowly sending a line of chilled air over her body as she took a deep breath, letting her head relax completely against the bed. She let her hands leave the soft duvet allowing them to rest gently against her stomach, sliding them under the hem of her shirt pushing it up just slightly as her fingertips begin to lightly trace circles there.

'Lexa'

She could feel her body begin to relax as thoughts of Lexa filled her mind. It had only been 5 days since the first time that she had laid eyes on Lexa and her body was just starting to catch up with the realization of that fact. Opening her hands, Clarke pressed her palms against her skin and sent her right hand up higher under her shirt toward her bra. Once there she slide her hand under the base, squeezing the full roundness of her breast, taking in a sharp breath as her fingertips pressed gently against her hard nipple. Clarke exhaled deeply as she begin to paint a picture in her mind of the beautiful woman that stood before her just hours ago, pitching and pulling on the pebble hardness under her fingertips. Her left hand slide down ever so slightly pressing against her hip in hesitation just for a second before moving under the waistband of her scrub bottoms. Her fingers immediately finding the bundle of nerves, ready, sensitive and aware. Using three fingers to press down against the swollen nerves causing a small whimper to escape her lips.

'Lexa'

“Mmhmm” Clarke applied more pressure as her fingers begin to work in unison, matching her now shallow breaths. Sending her fingers down lower as they slide through the now wet folds, massaging slowly as she lifted her hips grinding to meet the length of her fingers as they slide easily against her.

“Ahh … Lexa” she breathed out letting her fingers explore her wetness more.

Clarke licked her bottom lip, biting it as thoughts of Lexa's mouth came into her mind. Her fingers were completely wet now, gliding up and down freely as she imagined Lexa's lips replacing them, those full lips, she could think of no better use for them at the very moment.

“Oh god … Lexa”

Her hips found their rhythm with the movement of her fingers and low whimpers begin to come from her mouth as lifted her hips and slipped one finger deep into herself …

“Oh fuck … ”

“Well hello to you too babes” A voice said from the doorway, startling Clarke as she pulled her hands from her pants and bra, sitting up to see an amused Octavia watching her.

“What the actual fuck O”

“Whoa, whoa … calm down Griffin, nothing I have not seen before. We were roommates in college remember.” Octavia said smiling

“How could I forget …. still not funny” Clarke said as she tried to gain her composure, taking a deep breath as her friend stood laughing “I fucking hate you … stop laughing you little piece of shit” Clarke said with a small smile now on her face. Shaking her head in disbelief. “What happened to the I am a changed woman bullshit and not coming in my house unannounced huh”

“Bitch, you know I lie … plus I mean I heard you say Lexa so -”

“How fucking long were you listening for”

“That is far from the point”

“Wow O”

“Honestly, I was just trying to see what all the fuss was about”

“Get out … I need a minute”

“Whatever you do, just make sure you wash your hands after. I mean I love you but I don't want any extra seasoning on my dinner” Octavia said with a smirk as she headed toward the living room.

Clarke collapsed back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, this had officially become the day from hell.

Clarke had taken a quick shower … a quick cold shower to relieve herself of any further tension. She changed into some pajama pants and a t-shirt before joining O in the living room. They decided to skip dinner all together and just make some popcorn and binge watch some Fear the Walking Dead.

“So she knows your name is Clarke”

“Yeah ...”

“What did she do, what did she say … was she pissed?”

“Maybe, I don't know … she asked me out to dinner” Clarke said as she glanced over at her friend

“Whoa … you lucky bitch. I swear the gods just look down on you and go … here have this and here have this too cause we didn't give you enough the last time”

“That's really not my life O and you know it”

“Whatever … so when is this date” Octavia said smiling

“Don't know she didn't say, she just asked me and then left”

Letting out a sigh as she shook her head “Blind leading the fucking blind, you two are perfect for each other” Octavia said as she placed the empty bowl on the coffee table in front of her.

“I'm worried O … what if, what if I'm not -”

“Shut up, just shut the fuck up. Whatever it is your about to say … your wrong”

Ping!

The sudden text alert from Octavia's phone cut through the silence that lingered between the girls as the sat on the couch. Clarke watched as O picked up her phone and frowned as she begin to type a reply.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah just Bel- …” Octavia looked up hesitatingly at Clarke, “I mean he we do not mention …”

“It's fine O, I am not the one with the problem. He just needs to get over it.”

“He does but …. you don't make it easy and honestly can you blame him”

That question hung in the air as it had for several years now. She had not spoken more than a few words to Bellamy over the past 5 years and as much as she missed his friendship, she was not sure if it could ever be repaired. Clarke had moved forward and moved on but I guess that was always the problem, she was never truly his and the day he realized that was the day everything between them changed.

 

_Clarke sat at her desk as she looked over her Organic Chemistry notes for the fifth time that night, her eyes had started to blur everything together and she could have sworn that it was written in a completely different language all together. Her final was tomorrow and even though she was doing very well in the class she still had such a hard time grasping all of the concepts._

_**Chemistry is the DEVIL!** _

_**Chem Is Try, good luck tomorrow – Lexa** _

_She couldn't help but smile as she saw the almost instant reply, Lexa must be up and studying for her exams as well she thought mindlessly tracing the letters in her palm. The end of her second year of college was coming to an end rather quickly and she couldn't believe where the time had gone. Clarke had heard the door to her dorm room open behind her …_

“ _Study group finally over -”_

_The immediate sensation of kisses being placed on her neck startled Clarke as she turned her head to see Bell smiling down at her._

“ _The only thing I want to study is you”_

“ _I'm sure you say that to all the girls” Clarke said with smile_

“ _Just you Princess”_

“ _hmm” she said as she turned and stared back down at her notes_

“ _Really ...”_

“ _My final is happening several hours from now … so yes really”_

_Feeling his hand slide down her neck, turning her face as he placed a rough kiss on her mouth, pushing his tongue forward begging for access. She could sense his need and for a split second denied him but as she felt his hand slide down into her shirt and reach her breast, her will broke and she gave into the sensation, opening her mouth just enough to feel his tongue slip in._

_He was always so rough and needy and at times she wanted something different … someone that wasn't him._

_'Lexa'_

_He made quick work of his shirt, wasting very little time before he moved her from the chair to her small twin bed discarding her yoga pants in the process. Clarke was not very present in the moment, she was simply going through the motions as her mind was elsewhere as it always seem to go in times like this. She knew it was unfair to him but she could not stop the need she felt and as much as it should have been for him, it never was._

_'Lexa'_

_He kissed his way up her thigh, looking up waiting for permission before he was to proceed, Clarke looked down at him as she lifted her hips, allowing him to pull off her underwear as he begin to kiss between her legs. She could feel his tongue but it should be her tongue, she could feel his hands but it should be her hands … Clarke ran her fingers through his hair as she looked down half in pleasure, half in disappointment. She opened her palm and looked down at the message written there, letting out a low moan as she arched her back, making her head hit the pillow behind her .._

“ _Oh fuck … Lexa” she moaned_

_She could feel a slight change between her legs but Clarke was to lost in oblivion …_

“ _Lexa … don't stop”_

“ _What …. what did you just say?” Bell asked as he sat up abruptly_

“ _What” Clarke said in confusion as she was still very much lost in the shadow of pleasure_

“ _What did you call me”_

“ _I -”_

“ _Goddammit Clarke” Bell yelled as he pushed off the bed and grabbed his shirt from the floor_

_Clarke sat up, closing her legs and pulling the covers from her bed over her, covering her as she felt extremely vulnerable in that moment._

_Shaking his head as he looked at her, he turned and headed for the door “You know … you have said that before, called me that before. I passed it off as a mistake, told myself I was hearing things ...”_

“ _What do you want me to say Bell”_

“ _What can you say -”_

“ _I have always been honest with you”_

“ _Yeah … yeah I know and that's the fucked up part”_

“ _I tried ...”_

“ _Never good enough Princess … I thought we, I thought …” Shaking his head “I don't know what I thought”_

“ _I'm sorry -”_

“ _I am real, I am right here, right now … she doesn't even want to meet you.”_

“ _That doesn't matter, I can't change how I feel I lo-”_

“ _And if you could, would you? … Would you change how you feel?”_

“ … _No”_

“ _Ah .. you have spent years wanting someone who doesn't want you … it's fucking pathetic”_

“ _Get the fuck out”_

_She heard the door slam behind him and as she sat in her bed and cried, for the first time in a long time she felt free._

* * *

 Clarke sat in the car for a while contemplating if she should in fact even go inside, she was still mentally exhausted from all the events that had taken place yesterday and even with passing out immediately once her head had hit the pillow she was unsure if she was ready for another day of hard truths.

'Let's get this over with'

Exhaling deeply as she existed the car and headed toward the door, she didn't bother to knock as she used her spare key to get in, it was still her house to after all. She entered quietly, taking a glance around the foyer and living room and was greeted with silence.

“Mom”

'Of course she is not home, why would she be home when she said would' Clarke thought as she let out an exasperated sighed, heading up the stairs in front of her, she made her way to her old room, closing the door lightly behind her. The room was still the exact way she had left it, pictures tapped to the vanity, unfinished paintings stacked against the wall, papers laying randomly around and bed unmade. It had been a while since she had visited the house and she honestly wondered why her mother had not simply sold it once Clarke had left and moved into something much smaller.

Making her way around the room, running her hand over varies items as a faint smile formed on her face. She had loved this house once, it had been her safe haven but after her father died the house had became dark, quiet, a shadow of what it use to be and her mother had followed suit. She walked lightly around the room, waiting to hear the familiar squeak under her foot and once she did she could feel it give just a little as she tapped it lightly. Taking a seat on the floor and crossing her legs in front of her as she wiggled the loose floorboard just enough to pop it out of place and reveal a small hidden area that contained an old shoe box.

It had been years, the last time she had opened this box had been the day of her father's funeral. She had ran to her room and hide herself away for days, unable to face the world knowing that her father was no longer apart of it. She removed the box from the small space and lifted the top, inside laid her old dairy.

'Wish you were here'

Running her fingers through the pages of the dairy, reading some of the old entries only brought a smile to her face. “So young … if only you knew what the future held for you Clarke” she whispered to herself as she turned to the last dairy entry.

>  I fear this is the last time I shall write to you, write about you … I am just so upset. I am not even sure what, why I am writing this, maybe I just need someone to talk to, maybe this blank page is the only one I want to hear my cries. I am alone now, alone is this room, alone in this world. I know, I know … being dramatic yet again Clarke.
> 
> I lost my father, I lost you … he was taken from me, you were stolen from me...
> 
> Yes, mom is still here but even she seems to be lost without you, she has changed, she no longer likes to be present and right now she is being so damn selfish. I need her and she is not here.
> 
> I need my mother and she needs her space because she lost the man she loves … I guess we are both being selfish. All I know is that I have to figure out what to do now, who will encourage me now … I can still hear your voice in my head and now it is all I have left until it is just a faint memory as well.
> 
> I need you dad, your shadow lives in this house now, in every corner … I love you dad. I wish you were still here.
> 
> In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey on the ground …
> 
> May we meet again.

A small tear fell to the page below her as she closed her eyes and pushed away the pain that had risen from within her. It was a pain that always sat near the surface but Clarke did her best to always hide it. Closing the dairy she reached down back into the box and pulled out her father's old watch, he had given it to her the day before he died. She took it into her hands, enclosing it tightly hugging it close to her chest as she let a out a soft cry.

Through the tears in her eyes, she looked down at the watch, it was sliver, slightly bulky, the face on the watch was pretty standard except the 12 had been replaced by an infinity sign, the dial around the face was bold, very intricate and spun as you turned it, the watch was in need of new batteries but other that it was in perfect condition. Clarke ran her finger along the band and flipped it over to see a small engraving on the back.

>  Ascende Superius

Looking up as her attention was pulled to faint voices coming from downstairs, she quickly wiped away her tears, clasping the watch around her wrist, shoving the dairy back into the box and pushing it into its hidden space and she replaced the floorboard and stood up trying to decipher the voices that lingered in the room below her. Clarke made her way down the stairs slowly, trying to make the least amount of noise and as she got closer the voices came into full range.

“You know Abby, it was Jake's wishes … the least you could do is honor them”

“He was my husband, I am pretty sure I knew what he wanted Thelonious .. you have no rig -”

“What the hell is going on?” Clarke asked from the stairs as both Abby and Thelonious turned looking at her with utter surprise written on their faces.

“How long have you been here Clarke?” Abby asked her daughter

“Not long … where were you?” Clarke asked deadpan as her eyes never left Jaha's the question had two meaning and she was pretty sure he picked up on that considering the smirk that formed on his face.

“We were on the dec -”

“Hello Clarke, it has been a while” Thelonious said as he cut off Abby mid sentence

“Cut the bullshit Thelonious”

“Clarke” Abby pressed

Letting out a sigh as she gave her mom a look, slightly rolling her eyes, turning her attention back to Jaha as she descended the stairs and came to stand adjacent to each of them, forming a triangle between them.

Clarke stood with her arms crossed over her chest “You have some fucking nerve … have you even seen Wells, or did you come right here … for God knows what” she said as she turned and looked at her mother “and you … -”

“There are things more important than family at the moment Clarke” Thelonious said with a straight face as he turned to leave “maybe you will come to see that fact one day soon Abby” he said as he walked out of the door.

“You gonna explain what I just walked in on or -”

“Not now Clarke, I really don't -”

“No, no you don't get to do that. He was talking about dad ...”

“It's complicated”

“Then uncomplicate it.”

“Clarke ...”

“I am so fucking sick of you just avoiding anything that has to do with dad”

“What do you want from me”

“The truth … Wells told me to ask you, said it wasn't his place to tell me. What the hell is he talking about and now Jaha is standing in our house speaking about my father … please...”

Abby took a deep breath as she looked into her daughters eyes “Your father … he was, Thelonious … it was an accident. I don't know -”

“What do you mean accident …”

“Something happened … Thelonious is somewhat responsible your father's dea -”

“What … how, what the fuck”

“Clarke please ...”

“Please … please what, and you knew … Wells knew...”

“We just wanted to protect you”

“I don't need your fucking protection, he was my father … and you, I don't know who you are” Clarke said as she stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind.

Clarke shut the car door abruptly, slamming her hands on the steering wheel “Ahh” she cried out as tears ran uncontrollably down her face. She sat there for several minutes letting the tears just flow as her heart ached, she was filled with so much anger, so much pain and the only thing her body knew how to do was weep. Her breathing had slowed and it had taken all of her will power to not give into the full blown panic attack that she swallowed down into her chest. Abby had not come out of the house, either she didn't care or she was giving Clarke her space, at the moment Clarke would have sworn it was the former. She lifted her head from the steering wheel and instantly reached for her cell phone, pulling it out of the storage bin in her car she scrolled through her contact list hitting the message button next to Wells' name.

 

 **Griffters:** I thought you were my friend

 **Wells:** I am …

 **Griffters:** Tell that to my father

 **Wells:** Clarke don't do that, I am your friend

 **Griffters:** Save it

 **Wells:** How do you think I feel, my father … your father. You are my best friend

 **Griffters:** Then you should have told me … I trusted you

 **Wells:** I tried … so many times

 **Griffters:** Not good enough …

 **Griffters:** Just leave me alone Wells

 

Looking down at the phone in her hand she noticed the message written on her palm, before she read it she tossed her phone into the seat next to forcing her eyes to look up toward the sky. She could not bring herself to read what Lexa had written, she was not sure if she could handle anymore bad news for the day … fuck the day for the rest of her life. Clarke had officially meet her quota for worst fucking days ever and if Lexa was going to leave her as well … she honestly would not know how she would continue on. She took several deep breaths and decided to rip the band-aid off all at once.

'Now or never'

Clarke dropped her eyes to her palm and as she read it a single tear fell into her palm, for the first time in a long time it wasn't a tear of sadness.

  **La Tasca Resturant, 7pm Wed night - Lexa**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts, good, bad, indifferent
> 
> Feel free to stalk me.  
> Twitter : https://twitter.com/therebel1986  
> Tumblr: https://therebel1986.tumblr.com/


	8. I'm Glad You Came

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke prepare for their date. Neither know what quite to expect and look to their friends for help. Both have a hard time keeping their hands to themselves and neither of them seem to complain about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paella -is a Valencian rice dish with ancient roots that originated in its modern form in the mid-19th century near Albufera lagoon on the east coast of Spain adjacent to the city of Valencia.

**Wednesday 5:30pm, Lexa's Apartment**

“What if she doesn't show …. what if this is a big mistake … What if - “

“You have got to chill your shit commander”

“I never say this but, Reyes is right Lex … chill, she will be there” Anya sighed

“How are you two so sure, when I am not … she never even responded to my last message”

“Awww … the commander is nervous, I have never seen you like this Lex” Raven said with a smirk on her face as she looked over to Anya “It seems someone's panties are in a bunch”

“Oh I have a feeling it won't be Lexa's panties in a bunch by the end of the night”

“If she even wears panties … do you think Clarke will go commando for the commander … Raven said with a laugh as she gave Anya a five high in the process.

“I hate you both” Lexa said as she glared in the mirror eyeing the two women behind her “Glad you both find this so amusing”

Nervous … nervous was an understatement and at this point Lexa was on the verge of puking. It had been two days since she sent Clarke the time and place of the intended date. Two days of radio silence from Clarke was not an usual occurrence but this time it was very different and Lexa stood to lose much more than just her pride if in fact Clarke did not show up tonight.

She looked in the mirror, studying her own reflection, she was dressed in a dark blue loose fitting button down shirt, the first few top buttons undone with the sleeves rolled up just below her elbows, light brown chinos with suspenders to match and finished off with some some dark brown boots. Lexa had opted to leave her hair down, long and flowing with a hint of her natural curl to it with subtle makeup.

“All jokes aside Lex” Anya said placing her hands on Lexa's shoulders, turning her around to face both her and Raven … “Enjoy yourself, this is the girl you have wanted since …”

“Forever” Raven chimed in with a smile

“Forever …” Lexa breathed out giving a faint smile to both of her friends.

This date was in fact long over due, Lexa had spent the last 8 years wanting a woman she never thought she could actually have and now that Clarke was within her grasp the thought excited and frightened her all at the same time.

'Love is not weakness'

Turning around to give herself one more look over in the mirror, she took a deep breath “Now or never”

'Clarke has always been my forever'

**Wednesday 6:00pm, Clarke's House**

“Clarke seriously …. you are gonna miss your own damn date” Octavia yelled

She had an hour before her date with Lexa, a date she had been looking forward to for years but never thought the day would actually come and now that it was here, she thought it was all a dream.

“Holy shit … did a boom go off in here or -”

“Shut it … and help me” Clarke said with a quick glance over to Octavia who now stood in her bedroom doorway.

Clothes littered the floor and bed of Clarke's room, it had taken her over 2 hours to find something to wear and even now she was seconds away from discarding the sundress she had finally settled on but time was running out. Octavia slowly started to make her way around the room, picking up the random clothing items that had been tossed about.

“So … what is this about Clarkey”

“What are you -” Clarke's voiced trailed off as she turned and found Octavia holding up several of her bras, dangling them with a small smile on her face. “What …”

“Don't what me young lady …. plans?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about … I just …” Clarke signed, smiling slightly “I just want to look nice … just in case, you know … I mean, I don't know O … it's been a while … since -”

Waving her hand in the air “Say no more, say no more … I did catch your little show the other day, remember” Octavia said smiling

“All to well, don't remind me”

Clarke made her way over to Octavia and snatched her personal items from her, they spent the next few minutes cleaning up Clarke's room as best they could, tossing most of the clothes into the closet and out of sight.

“I need a favor O”

“What is it babes?”

“Can you … can you come to the restaurant, and just sit at the bar, out of sight for a bit. Just in case things go to shit …” Clarke asked as they made their way back to the living room

“You know I got your back Clarkey … but everything is going to be fine, just relax”

“I know, it's just … this is Lexa .. my Lexa, and I … what is this?” Clarke asked as her eyes went toward her coffee table

“Pre-gaming babes … tipsy Clarke is fun Clarke”

“What are you trying to say O”

“Nothing” said Octavia, holding up her hands, smiling “I just have fond college memories is all … I am doing this for your own good not to mention Lexa's”

“Funny how my memories of tipsy Clarke is very different … embarrassing in fact” Clarke said shaking her head and she took the shot glass being handed to her.

“Trust me, relax …. cheers”

“Cheers” Clarke sighed as she downed the shot with ease.

* * *

  **6:30pm, La Tasca Restaurant**

'Now or never'

Lexa entered the restaurant and made her way over to the hostess.

“Hello, I have a reservation for 2 under the name Woods”

“Hi, let's take a look here …. Ah yes, right this way Ms. Woods. Your date has not arrived as of yet but I will escort them right to you once they are here”

“Thank you” Lexa said with a smile as she followed the hostess through the restaurant and up the stairs into a large room with 8 separate cooking stations. The room was huge, with several large pane windows that overlooked the city.

“Please pick any station you like and thank you for choosing La Tasca” And with that the hostess was gone.

Lexa took a glance around the room and immediately decided to make her way over to one of the stations closest to one of the windows. The view of the city was breath taking and she could think of no better person to share it with other than Clarke, that is if she actually showed up tonight. Glancing down at her watch, Lexa took a deep breath.

'Now or never'

**6:45pm, La Tasca Restaurant**

“… Why do I ever listen to you”

“Oh come on, you can't tell me you don't feel good right now …” Octavia said with a smirk

“Yeah … to good, to confident …”

“It was just 4 shots … you are fine”

“I am feeling it O”

“Well then you are right where you need to be then babes” Octavia said as she danced in her seat

Clarke and Octavia exited the car and headed toward the entrance of La Tasca, making their way over to the hostess.

“Hello”

“Hi, I am meeting someone here … not sure if they have arrived yet, probably under the name Woods or -”

“Ah, you are Clarke?” The hostess said with a smile

“...Yes”

“Perfect, your date is already here … right this way”

Clarke nodded her head at the hostess and begin to follow before she turned back to O

“I am going to chill at the bar, I will be here for a bit … get some dinner, text me” Octavia said as she split from Clarke as they entered the main dinning area.

Clarke continued on her way, with each step bringing her closer and closer to Lexa, she could feel her legs starting to feel like jello as she took a deep breath trying her very best to remember everything she could about this very moment.

'Now or never'

* * *

  **Lexa**

With every second that passed Lexa grew more and more worried, doubts grew within her mind and even though she wanted to have full confidence that Clarke would show up tonight, there was a small voice in her head that told her otherwise.

'She does not want this, it has been 8 years, what would change her mind now'

Lexa glanced down at her watch and then down at her palm … nothing.

'5 minutes left Clarke'

Just as Lexa raised her eyes from her watch, she saw her … 'Clarke' and just like that there was no one else in the room that matter, time itself no longer existed and in that moment Lexa knew it had all been worth the wait. Clarke was dressed in a short sundress that hit around her mid thigh, it was floral colored with pink, white, purple and black, it had spaghetti straps and she wore a light brown large buckle belt high around her waist to accent the dress. Her hair was up in tight messy bun, with a few strands of her glorious blonde hair falling down but neatly tucked behind her ears. Lexa had never seen anyone so beautiful and as Clarke gave a small nod to the hostess she begin to make her way over. Lexa could not control the smile that formed on her face as she watched Clarke, their eyes meet and the smile on Clarke's lips created a small fire in Lexa's chest. This was it, this was the moment, everything in the universe had worked together to bring them to this point in time and as Clarke stood directly in front of her now, all doubt vanished.

“I'm glad you came”

“Me to” Clarke said smiling

There was a long moment that passed between them, something secret, something that only they understood as they looked into each other, Lexa could feel herself becoming lost in everything that was Clarke.

'Clarke'

“I didn't think … I was not sure you were -”

“Expecting someone else?”

“... No … I'm not sure that there has ever really been anyone else ...” Lexa said with a hint of confusion and relief.

A slight blush begin to form on Clarke's face as she bite her bottom lip, her eyes never leaving Lexa's.

“Alright everyone, it seems all of our couples are now present.” A voice said from in front of the room “Let's get started … I first want to thank all of you for joining us tonight. Hopefully you will all learn something, have fun and enjoy some great food. We are going to start off with sampling some various seasonal sangria that we make right here in the restaurant and then we are going to let you all make your own sangria with your dates and from there we will see how the night goes. Lets have some fun”

“So ...” Clarke said looking back over at Lexa “I thought this was just going to be your run of the mill, meet for dinner kind of date”

“Well, technically it is … just we will be making our dinner, with the help of the instructor” Lexa gestured toward the front of the room “I actually love cooking and well … I wanted to share that with you”

A big smile formed on Clarke's face as she pushed her teeth just a bit more into her bottom lip “Well, I am honored” she said

Lexa could not help but let her eyes drop to Clarke's lips, her teeth had been pressed against them for the past few minutes and the sight of it was driving Lexa literally insane. 'Does she not know what she is doing to me' Lexa bit her own lip in return and used all of her will power to force her mind back on the task at hand … sangria tasting not Clarke tasting … not yet anyway.

'Clarke you will be the death of me'

**Clarke**

The chef had given them a brief overview on the history of the beverage and some basic tips for making their own recipes. After a short debate, they had decided to make a strawberry pineapple sangria. Lexa was busy cutting the strawberries and pineapples, while Clarke sliced some limes and picked some mint leaves for garnish.

“It seems our workload is a tad unbalanced” Lexa said with a raised eyebrow

“Well, I do remember a certain someone bragging about their cooking skills”

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind Clarke” Lexa said with a smile

'God, I love how you say my name'

“Maybe I just wanted to see how good you were with your hands ...”

“Oh ...”

“Mhmm” Clarke said pointing down “Your hands seem very talented … knife skills and all that”

“Ah, right … knife skills” Lexa said with a soft smile on the corner of her lips as she turned her head back toward the cutting board, shaking loose a strand of hair that fell into her face slightly obstructing her view.

Clarke watched as a slight blush rose on Lexa's cheek but she could not stop herself from staring. She was unaware of what her hands were doing and before she could even stop herself Clarke was reaching out toward Lexa, her hand meet the soft long strand of hair. Taking it into her hand gently as she begin to twirl it around her finger a few times, enjoying the feel of it a few moments longer before allowing her finger to trace the tip of Lexa's ear as she ran her finger behind it, tucking the hair neatly in place. She could feel the heat from the touch and it only caused her finger to linger longer, sliding it slowly down behind the back of Lexa's ear and eventually finding the length of her jawline.

'Fuck'

Clarke sent her finger slowly down Lexa's jaw, which was simply impeccable. She could not help but to take her time, lost in the moment and enjoying the stolen glances that Lexa was giving her. Clarke had turned her body so that she was looking at Lexa straight on maybe this was just long over due or maybe it was the liquid courage but Clarke was not backing down. 'What has gotten into you'

“Enjoying herself?” Lexa asked

Clarke dropped her hand, remembering where they were “More than you know” she said with a slight smile.

“Good”

Standing next to Lexa was simply intoxicating and Clarke could not take her eyes off of Lexa. She did her best not to stare, casually stealing glancing from the corner of her eye every so often when the silence between them settled but everything about Lexa was simply perfect.

They finished assembling the sangria and placed it into the small refrigerator at their station to chill as they moved on to the cooking portion of the night. The chef lead a demonstration on how to prepare Paella from scratch and as they looked on, Clarke caught Lexa staring at her several times which only caused Clarke to do the same and minutes at a time were lost between them. Glances were exchanged, smiles were exchanged, the tension was unbearable and once the demo was over Clarke had very little clue on the actual process of creating the meal for tonight but looking into Lexa's eyes was the only thing that truly mattered at the moment.

“Please tell me that Paella is in your wheel house of cooking skills”

“Were you not paying attention Clarke” Lexa asked with a small giggle

“Let's just say that there were more interesting sights to look at” Clarke stated as she finished off the rest of the sangria in her glass

“Indeed there were” Lexa said with her eyes never leaving Clarke's “I do intend on eating something tonight ...”

'Fuck'

This time it was Clarke's turn to blush as she chocked slightly on the sangria she was in the middle on swallowing, clearing her throat “ I -”

“Everything ok over there” a voice called out from the front of the room

Smiling, “Yes, we are good .. right Clarke” Lexa said looking over at her

Nodding her head at the Chef in the front of the room as she held up her hand “Fine … went down the wrong pipe is all” Looking back at Lexa who had a shit eating grin plastered on her face.

“Let's get started”

They collected all of the ingredients and divided up the work … evenly this time, Lexa worked on sauteing the chorizo and chicken while Clarke was given chopping duty this time around. Things were moving along at a steady pace minus the long stares, random smiles and awkward giggles that passed between them. It was like begin back in highschool and Clarke was in fact the horny school girl at the moment. Lexa was addicting and Clarke had not even had a taste of her yet.

'Fuck'

Clarke was lost in her thoughts, chopping up the last of the garnish, so lost in the moment that she had not felt Lexa move closer to her until she felt Lexa's long, slender fingers slide down her forearm, pressing into her wrist and she moved down to her fingers, pressing into them to hold the blade more securely.

“Hold it like this” Lexa whispered

'Fuck'

Lexa's hand formed around Clarke's as she moved behind her, pressing the front of her body slightly against Clarke's back. Clarke's breath hitched in her throat as the sensation of Lexa enveloped her completely. As Lexa spoke, she could feel her breath gently on the back of her neck causing Clarke to tense up ever so slightly as her mind went spiraling into the abyss. Lexa's hand was strong but soft as it pressed against Clarke's hand, fitting together perfectly, gliding the blade down forming more accurate strokes.

“Better” Clarke asked as she swallowed hard, doing her best to not let her voice fail her

“Mhmm … much”

Clarke leaned her head back ever so slightly allowing better access as she could already feel Lexa's lips faintly on the back of her neck. Lexa's left hand went to the belt on Clarke's waist resting there as Clarke turned her head just enough so that their lips were only inches apart. Clarke was daring her, asking for it, waiting to be put out of her misery …

“Any other tips?”

“ … I think you got it from here” Lexa said taking a deep breath as she released Clarke's hand and backed away “I will be right back … excuse me”

Before Clarke could even respond Lexa was making her way toward the door and back toward the main dinner area. Clarke released a breath she had no idea that she had been holding and after gaining the use of her general motor skills, she reached for her cell phone.

 

 **Clarkey:** O .. I am in trouble

 **Worlds Best Blake:** What? Why? What happened? Do I need to beat a bitches ass?

 **Clarkey:** She looks so fucking good …

 **Clarkey:** Fuck me

 **Clarkey:** I want to fuck her right here

 **Worlds Best Blake:** Whoa …

 **Clarkey:** Her face, god I love her face. Who has a face that fucking perfect

 **Worlds Best Blake:** Lol, How much more have you had to drink there Clarkey????

 **Clarkey:** You don't understand. I might just lick up her neck right here in front of this whole damn room

 **Clarkey:** Stop me O … Please

 **Worlds Best Blake:** Not sure I want to … you are having way to much fun and I like it

 **Worlds Best Blake:** Wait, why are you texting me? Is she standing right there?

 **Clarkey:** No, no, she went to the bathroom I think and honestly I might need to go next

 **Worlds Best Blake:** LOL ….

 **Clarkey:** I need to clean up O …

 **Clarkey:** It's getting bad down there

 **Worlds Best Blake:** HOLY SHIT!!!! …. LOL, what the hell is going on in there?

 **Clarkey:** I don't know but whatever it is … my body is soooo ready

 **Worlds Best Blake:** LMAO … guess it's safe to say I can go home then

* * *

 “What happened …” Anya asked

“Shh .. bitch I'm trying to listen”

“What the fuck happened, did Lexa just walk away?”

“Commander punked out” Raven said with a laughed

“Dammit, it was just getting good, Clarke basically gave her the go ahead”

“Where the fuck did she go … she left her phone, I can still hear the other people in the background talking” Raven said as she adjusted her earpiece

“I can't believe I let you talk me into this Reyes”

“Oh please … it's not like I put a gun to your head, plus you know you are loving this shit. Dinner and show” Raven said with a smile

“Fine … but if Lexa finds out, I don't fucking know you”

The two ladies sat at the bar ordering dinner and drinks for the past few hours as they listened in on the date of the century. Raven had hacked Lexa's cell phone, turning on her speakers allowing them to transmit all sound to a set of ear pieces that she and Anya wore which allowed them to listen in while no one was the wiser.

“Can I get you ladies anything else” asked the bartender

“No, we are good thanks … but if I need anything I will be sure to ask you personally Harper” Anya said with a smile and a wink.

“Oh god, stop flirting with the bartender An”

“What … problem? Jealous I went for it first Reyes?”

“No … just you can do better than that”

“Oh -” Anya said with a smile

“Shut up”

Tonight was not the night for this shit Raven thought, this was about Lexa and Clarke, so what if Anya flirted with that stupid gorgeous bartender … she was not jealous, nope, not at all …

'Not one bit'

“What did you say about Clarke?” A voice asked from beside them

Raven and Anya's attention was drawn over to a small, beautiful, feisty, dark haired woman that was sitting at the bar next to them.

“Sorry … can we help you?” Anya asked raising her eyebrows at the woman

“Yeah, you said Clarke … why?”

“Who are you” Raven asked aggressively

“Bitch, who are you and why is Clarke's name in your mouth”

“Did she just call me a bitch” Raven asked as she turned and looked at Anya for confirmation

“Tables have turned there Reyes …” Anya said with a laugh “I like you already” as she turned and looked at the dark haired woman

“Didn't your mother teach you it's not polite to listen in on other people's conversations” Raven said matter of fact

“You are one to talk”

“She has a point there Reyes ...”

“Who's fucking side are you on An … damn … anyway, WHO ARE YOU”

“I'm a friend of Clarke's and if you are here to cause trouble for her and Lexa tonight I swear to God -”

“Whoa, whoa … wait -” Anya said waving her hands in the air

“We are Lexa's friends” Raven chimed in proudly “And we are just here making sure she doesn't fuck it up … God knows I can't take another 8 years of her pinning”

“Sorry about the bitch comment … I'm Octavia, Clarke's best friend”

“Bitch is a term of endearment right Reyes” Anya said with a smile “I am Anya, this is Raven and you should join us”

“Nice to meet you both” Octavia said as she looked over at Raven waiting to see if the water was under the bridge.

“Don't worry about it” Raven said with a smile “I would have reacted the same if I heard someone talking about Lexa … it's cool and yes please join us …”

“We have a lot to talk about” Anya said with a wicked smile

* * *

'Get it together Woods'

Lexa had made her way to the bathroom for a moment of solace and to collect her thoughts, she stood now in front of the mirror, looking at her reflection after she had splashed her face with some water. She felt as if she was over heating, the temperature in the cooking room had been turned up or so it had felt as her close proximity to Clarke just a few minutes ago caused Lexa's body to react in a way she never felt before. Clarke had this way of making her lose track of everything and everyone, no one else seemed to exist but Clarke when they were together. It was actually very scary for Lexa, she had closed the door to her heart and had reserved it for only one woman. Now that woman was there knocking on that door, waiting to be let into a place that was already hers. Taking a few deep breaths as she tired to clam her nerves and ignore the dull ache that she felt deep between her legs.

'Calm down'

Existing the bathroom Lexa made her way back into the main dinning area and as she rounded the corner toward the stairs she could not help be overhear a very familiar laugh. After stopping in her tracks, Lexa turned toward the sound and her view of the bar came into view.

'What the fuck'

“Taking bets … Lexa already punked out once on the first kiss a few minutes ago, it was there for the taking and -”

“And what” Lexa said, startling all three of the ladies

“Oh shit … I don't know them” Anya said

“Oh … hey there commander … ugh”

“And what Reyes … please don't let me interrupt” Lexa said deadpan

“Uhh ..”

“Hi, I am Octavia … Clarke's friend” she said extending her hand toward Lexa

“Hi ...” Lexa said shaking the girl's hand lightly “What the hell is going on”

“Meeting of the minds” Raven said

“Your friends are great Lexa … they, like me, were just worried about you two”

“Right … what she said” Anya said with a quietly

“How long have you both been here” Lexa said raising her hand “… and I don't even want to know how you know about the almost kiss”

“Well, see that is a little difficult to explain -”

“Shh … save it Reyes, just don't tell me, whatever it is … stop it … now” Lexa sighed

“Alright, alright … sorry”

Exhaling a deep breath Lexa eyed both of her friends, she knew they only had the best intentions and clearly Clarke's friend cared a lot as well. “Look I am going back to my date … MY date and I would appreciate it, if all of you … including you Octavia would give us some privacy”

“Say no more … we are out of here” Anya said

“Yep, she is clearing in good hands” Octavia said with a smile

“Thank you” Lexa breathed out and she turned and headed back toward the stairs

'Fucking friends'

Lexa entered the room, watching Clarke from afar, she was diligently working on their meal, placing the finishing touches it seemed. Clarke had a pleased smile on her face as if she was keeping a secret that she could not wait to share. As Lexa moved through the room making her way closer and closer to Clarke she could not help but smile at the site before her, Clarke was so beautiful and the simple sight of her sent butterflies into Lexa stomach.

“I thought I lost you” Clarke said with a pout

“Never” Lexa said with a smile as she approached their station

The small blush that forming on Clarke's face made those butterflies in Lexa, flutter, flutter.

“We have some very nosy friends”

“... elaborate please”

“Oh nothing, just … I ran into Raven and Anya down at the bar spying on us and well your friend Octavia was there as well”

“All together?”

“Yes, like the new three stooges”

“How … Octavia doesn't even know them”

“Oh … I am sure it's all my friends doing … Octavia was just an innocent bystander I'm sure”

“Well, I will be sure to bring that up later” Clarke stated “But for now Bon appetit”

Clarke stepped aside and slide the finished plate of Paella in front of Lexa, letting out a small chuckle as she viewed the finish dish.

“Clarke ..”

“These past few days … I have missed my friend, I missed you. I just -”

“It's perfect” Lexa said as she looked down at the dish

Clarke was perfect, this moment was perfect and as Lexa looked down at the Paella which Clarke had assembled, she wondered why it had taken her so long to want this moment to be a reality. Clarke had used the asparagus to create the lines of a tic tac toe board on top of the rice, using the littleneck clams as the O's and the peeled jumbo shrimp as the X's.

The rest of the dinner past without a hitch, deep stares, smiles, laughter and small conversation. They both ate their fill and split the leftovers to take home. Once they were done eating, they gathered up their belongings and made their way down the stairs, through the main dinner area and out to the parking lot, making their way over to Lexa's car. The night was clear, making the stars perfectly visible and the moonlight reflected in Clarke's eyes like a diamond.

“Well you sent home my ride so-”

“Oh, I have every intention of getting you home safely Clarke”

“Hmmm, do you now” Clarke asked as she leaned back against the car

“Yes ...”

“ … Ah so this has been your plan the whole time, plaster me with drinks … send home my ride and take advantage”

“It's not taking advantage, when the other is willing” Lexa said as she stepped closer to Clarke

“And who said I was willing ...”

“True” Lexa said with a smirk as she took a step back

“Don't you dare”

Clarke stopped Lexa's backwards movement by grabbing her suspenders and holding her in place, Clarke took a small step toward her, closing the distance once again.

“Willing” Clarke whispered against Lexa's lips

Lexa closed her eyes and let her forehead come to rest against Clarke's. She was content in this very moment, just breathing in the same air as Clarke, matching the rhythm of her breath, seconds turned into minutes and as Lexa leaned in gently rubbing her nose against Clarke's slowly …

'Now or never'

Lexa could fell Clarke's breath against her lips and as she begin to lean in feeling the faint trace of Clarke's mouth …

Lexa felt her pocket vibrate and then a loud ring …

“Fuck” Lexa sighed

Breathing out a loudly as she dug into her pocket, leaning back slightly to look at the caller ID

'Gustus'

“Fuck … I have to take this”

“I know”

“I'm sorr-”

“Shhh” Clarke said, placing a finger on Lexa's lips and smiling

Taking a few steps away from Clarke's grasp as Lexa answered her phone …

“Woods …”

“No, nothing at all … what's up”

“ … Can Anya just handle it, she has nothing to do tonight I can assure you that-”

“Ok … yeah I understand, ok … what's the address?”

“7737 Eastern Ave NW Apt. 4 … got it”

The look on Clarke's face changed immediately, something was wrong …

“I will be there as soon as I can” Lexa said as she hung up the phone “Clarke … what's wrong”

“7737 Eastern Ave NW … why there?”

“There has been an incident, possible murder … seems to be COL related so its kind of good you are here cause -”

“That's Wells' apartment”

“What”

“My friend Wells Jaha, he lives in apartment 4”

“Fuck … lets go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts, good, bad, indifferent
> 
> Feel free to stalk me  
> Twitter : https://twitter.com/therebel1986  
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	9. It's Ok, You Are Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The incident at Wells' apartment brings Lexa's and Clarke's date to an end. Clarke's guilt begins to eat away at her and she looks to the one constant in her life that always seems to make everything better, Lexa.

Lexa could see the fear and hesitation in Clarke's eyes as she glanced over at her. The small amount of light shinning through the windows from the outside dimly lite the SUV and provided a cast of shadows that only amplified the swift change in mood that had occurred. Of all the ways Lexa had imagined this night would end, this was not one of them. She would do anything to protect Clarke, there was no doubt in her mind of that and right now all she wanted to do was shield her from whatever horrors lay ahead in apartment 4.

“You don't have to go up … you can stay in the car”

At that statement Clarke took a moment of pause, a moment to consider, a moment to compose herself “… No, I want to”

“You can wait til I know, til I see if Wells -”

“Lex … it's ok” Clarke said in almost a whisper as she looked over to meet Lexa's eyes

“Lex?”

“Yes” Clarke said shyly, letting her eyes shift down as a small smile formed at the corners of her mouth “Is that ok?”

'You are so beautiful'

“Of course … come on” Lexa said as she ushered Clarke out of the car

There were several unmarked cars outside of the building but no signs of cops nor press just yet, Chief Supervisor Rosewood had managed to keep the incident quiet for now but Lexa knew within the next hour the media circus would ensue. They made their way up to the fourth floor, crossing several lines of informed agents but ultimately saying very little to each other as Lexa took the lead and provided the clearance Clarke needed to be on the scene.

“Anya”

“Lexa, what are you doing … and Clarke” Anya said with a hint of surprise as she turned to face them “Sorry, Dr. Griffin”

“Clarke is fine … Anya”

Anya gave a small nod in Clarke's direction before asking“Is this a good idea?” her glaze moving between the two standing in front of her

“She knows more about this than anyone here” Lexa said without hesitation “plus … I trust her” sending a quick glance over at Clarke, she was rewarded with a smile in return.

“Right … ok, this way” Anya said as she handed them both a pair of gloves.

Following slowly behind Anya they begin to make their way through the apartment, nothing seemed particularly out of place until they reached the living room area where traces of blood were stained and clearly visible on the pale carpet. The sight caused Lexa to stop mid stride as she felt a small bump into her back as Clarke collided with her softly, she took a moment to glance back over her shoulder, doing her best to communicate what was ahead.

“Clarke” … it came out as only a whisper

'I'm sorry'

Lexa watched as Clarke stepped around her as a small audible gasp escaped Clarke's lips as she let her eyes wash over the room.

“Watch your step” Anya said as she made her way over to the far side of the room

Lexa looked on in Clarke's direction making sure she was ok, before letting her own eyes take in the scene. Blood was not a new thing for her and she is sure the same goes for Clarke, but for Clarke this time was different, it belonged to someone she cared about and everything in Lexa wished that this was not the case.

“I need samples of all the blood you collect here” Clarke's voice trailed off as she tip toed through the scene taking a closer look from various angles.

Lexa was amazed at how quickly Clarke had composed herself as she went into professional mode and … to be honest it was quite hot.

“Anything else?”

“... Hmm carpet samples from within and around the blood stains … and fabric samples from the every piece of furniture in this room”

“Why fabric samples” asked Lexa with a raised eyebrow

“Fomites”

It was Anya's turned to be puzzled “...fomites?”

“ehh yeah …” Clarke said with a smile as her eyes stayed lingering on the scene in front of her “when someone is infected with the COL virus or has long term exposure to any residue dealing with the virus it becomes embedded in their skin if untreated. So when the infected touch something … like that glass on the table there or the couch or even the carpet, fomites are left behind. They are like germs left on tangible objects that would usually be contagious but since the COL is not transferable that way they become tale tell signs on an infected persons … like using a black-light to see hidden ink”

“Ah” both Lexa and Anya said in unison

'That was fucking hot'

“Ok, blood … fabric … fomites, got it” Anya said as she scribbled down some notes

Lexa made her way deeper into the room, taking in all that was in front of her ….

“Hey An, you notice something off here ...” Lexa said pointing to the glass cups on the table in front of her

“.... he knew his attacker”

“Hmm … that is my thought. No signs of a true struggle, two glasses, small splatter stains on the wall are consistent with blunt trauma and these traces seem like he was dragged and then carried out”

“Thelonious”

“No one has seen -”

“I did” Clarke said quickly cutting off Lexa “he is back from the dead, I saw him yesterday”

“What … why didn't you say”

“It was kind of a blur Lex, he was fighting with my mom … I pissed him off, he left … but he is back in town ...”

“Commander … Anya … starting the party without mehh - ... Clarke, um Dr. Griffin” Raven said in utter shock, eyebrows arching as she looked around the room, searching for an answer

“Clarke is fine …. Commander?” Clarke questioned tilting her head slightly toward Lexa

There was an audible silence and then a small giggle from Anya and a extremely excited grin on Raven's face

“...You didn't tell her … oh shit, there is a great story behind that see-”

“Raven … don't” Lexa said giving her head a not so subtle shake

“Oh come, she should know … I mean it's basically her fault and-”

“Really?” Clarke questioned

“Yes” Anya offered

“Raven” Lexa said deadpan

Holding her hands up in the air surrendering “fine … fine”

“Did you want something or just came here to be annoying …” Lexa asked with disdain

“Well … Commander, I was actually downstairs doing my job, downloading all the video footage in and around the building of the past 48 hours but the press just arrived and its a circus down there. Came to get one of you to give a statement, I would do it myself but … I was told I'm unprofessional to say the least” giving quick glance over to Anya

“Facts” Anya stated plainly

“I can do it”

“Are you sure” Lexa asked as she looked over at Clarke

“...I need to get some air anyway, plus I am the lead on this from WHO and I can throw around some medical jargon to keep the general public under control”

Lexa gave a slight nod of her head “I will be down in a bit”

“Take your time … Commander” Clarke said biting her bottom lip as she gave Lexa a look that sent shivers down her spine

'Fuck'

“I will make sure she gets downstairs with no problems” Raven said giggling to herself as she silently mouthed the word Commander to Lexa

'I hate my friends'

Lexa watched them both exit the apartment and took a minute to gather her thoughts. A part of her felt guilty for being as turned on as she was as she stood in the middle of an apartment which held the signs of possible death for one of Clarke's friends. There are just something you can't control and her want and need of Clarke was one of them. Lexa told herself it was the sangria from earlier in the night but she knew it was only a lie. She turned, making her way over to Anya who had a shit eating grin plastered on her face.

“What …”

“Nothing … Commander”

“Not you too” Lexa sighed

“Come on Woods … let's finish up”

It had been a long night, Lexa was exhausted and could only imagine that Clarke felt the same. There was a silence that filled the car, but it was that of a comfortable one that settled between each breath that they took, each silent glance made and each quiet smile shared as they drove along. Lexa took her time, taking the longest route, wanting to extend her time in Clarke's presence for as long as possible. She quietly wondered if Clarke herself had noticed and her question was promptly answered by the barely audible giggle that came from Clarke's side of the car as Lexa made unnecessary turns, there was however no protest and that alone ignited a warmth in Lexa's chest.

They sat in Clarke's driveway for several long minutes, neither broaching the subject at hand, neither wanting to say goodnight. Clarke was the first to break the silence …

“So … Commander”

“Not letting that go are you”

“Nope” Clarke said with a smirk

“Wonderful … thanks Raven”

“You are going to just have to tell me”

“One day ...” Lexa says with a small smile, eyes meeting Clarke's

They stay like that for several moments, lost in each others eyes, time non existent.

“Thank you … tonight was … well it was perfect, perfect until -”

“Yeah ...”

“Can I see you again?”

Clarke's question hung in the air but only for a second and before Lexa knew what she was doing her lips were on Clarke's, they were soft and begged for attention. The kiss started slow, filled with need and laced with lust. Lexa could hear Clarke's breath hitch in her throat when she swallowed a moan as Lexa deepened the kiss. She pushed passed Clarke's lips, sliding her tongue inside finding Clarke's eager and ready and it was Lexa who moaned this time as Clarke took her bottom lip into her mouth, sucking it.

“Lex...”

Nothing else seem to matter as their mouths worked in unison, giving way to 8 years of want that all came flooding out into the car in one instance. Lexa's hands found their way to Clarke's face, cupping it as she sucked on Clarke's tongue, breathing in the whimper that passed between their lips. Lexa slowly pulled back peppering light kisses on Clarke's lips as she leaned back to stare at the woman before her.

“God, you are beautiful”

The only response Clarke gave was a low hum of agreement as their forehead came to rest against each others.

“I'm going to take that as a yes … about seeing you again”

“I will have a think on it” Lexa said with a smirk

“Uhh … Rude” Clarke said with a smile “I should go … right”

'No'

“... Right”

Another small kiss passed between them as Clarke was the one to finally pull away and open the car door beside her.

“Night Lexa”

“Night Clarke”

Lexa sat watching as Clarke made her way to her front door, she waited until Clarke was safely inside and out of sight before she released a breath she had no idea that she was holding until now. She took a few breaths to shake off the lusty haze that ruminated throughout the car since Clarke's exit … 8 years was defiantly worth the wait.

* * *

Clarke is sitting at her desk, lost in thought, she has hard a difficult time focusing all day, partly from the fact that the news on Wells has spread through the facility like wild fire and every so often she is interrupted by a visitor who wants to offer some sort of comfort about her friend. She is exhausted from the night before and not for very good reason. Thoughts of Lexa flood her mind and she involuntarily runs her fingers across her lips, smiling as she remembers the way Lexa's lips felt so perfect against hers just hours ago.

**Clarkey:** I heard you were playing spy games with Raven and Anya  
**Agent Blake:** Actually I was defending your and Lexa's honor, turns out I didn't have to beat no bitches asses. But those two are GREAT … we have to all get together and I mean soon … Like tomorrow  
**Clarkey:** Now I am afraid ...  
**Agent Blake:** Someone is in a good mood … did you get some????  
**Clarkey:** I don't kiss and tell  
**Agent Blake:** Since when …  
**Clarkey:** Turning over a new leaf …  
**Agent Blake:** *coughs* Bullshit  
**Clarkey:** No sex … yet  
**Clarkey:** But she has the softest lips in the world  
**Agent Blake:** Which lips :-)  
**Clarkey:** Girl bye  
**Agent Blake:** Love you too

There is a gentle rap on Clarke's door that drew her attention and a faint voice follows …

“Dr. Griffin, these came for you”

“What -” Clarke cuts off the rest of her sentence as she looks up to see a large bouquet of flowers being carried in by one of the nurses.

It was a large bouquet of pink Asiatic lilies, sunflowers and large lemon leaf greenery, with a card that simply read … look down. An instant smile formed on Clarke's face as she glanced down at her palm, just as the faint ink dispersed into her skin …

I have decided that you can see me again -Lexa

“From anyone I know” Abby asked from the doorway of Clarke's office

Clarke's smile instantly left her face as the familiar voice brought her back to reality. Dropping her hand down on the desk as she looked over at her mother, they had not spoken since their argument and Clarke was truly not in the mood to rehash anything.

“What do you want mom”

“I heard about Wells … I'm sorry”

“The last words I said to him were harsh … After I rushed out the house-”

“I'm sorry Clarke … I should have told you, I just -”

“Your right, YOU should have told me … why would you put him in that position”

“I was only doing what I thought was best for you”

“Just because you are my mother, doesn't mean you know what is always best for me”

At that the room went silence and Clarke could hear her mother's heart breaking …

“I loved your father so very much … and when, I wanted to kill Thelonious … and I would have but Wells was the only thing that stopped me. I couldn't take someone's father away from them. Wells … he turned his back on his own father that day, for me … for you, either way he lost his father that day too Clarke. Wells was afraid of losing you, he was afraid you would hate him for what is father did … so we promised each other to never speak about it. We just didn't want you to hurt anymore than you already were.”

“You both should have given me that choice …”

“I know Clarke and I wish … I wish we had”

“I turned my back on him … just like he thought I would. What kind of friend am I ...”

“Oh honey” Abby said as she took Clarke into her arms

Clarke relaxed into Abby's arms letting her mother comfort her as tears fell down her face. Things were not perfect, a part of her still hated what her mother had done but life was to short, she had already lost one parent the least she could do is try to fix what was broken with the other.

“Lexa …” Clarke whimpered into her mothers shoulder, before leaning back “Lexa, sent me the flowers”

“The Lexa?”

Letting out a small giggle as she wiped the remaining moist from her face “Yes, the one and only”

“Seems we have a lot to talk about” Abby said with a smile

“I'm sorry to interrupt” a voice said from behind them

“Marcus ...”

“There has been a situation ...”

Clarke had gathered her team and made their way to an abandoned boat yard storage facility. An anonymous call had informed the WHO of an COL related incident that required immediate decontamination. Marcus had contacted the authorities who were en-route and sent his best team ahead to start protocols as needed.

Her team entered the boatyard with caution, using their scanners to pick up any rouge traces of the virus in question. Their initial sweep was starting to yield very little promise and a part of Clarke begin to feel that maybe someone was just pulling their chain but as she neared the last building in the yard her scanner started to ping registering large detectable amounts of fomites and trace residue from the virus.

“Over here guys” she called out

She entered the dark building slowly as she continued to follow the trail, there was very little light sweeping into the building from the outside docks and Clarke's flashlight only flooded small areas with illumination. She could hear faint footsteps behind her, her team was not far behind and as she took a few more steps forward she tripped over something laying on the ground. She stumbled forward as her flashlight fell to the ground and as she bent down to pick it up she looked over to the cone of light that spilled on the floor only to be faced with the body of Wells.

“Oh my god” she breathed out as she dropped her scanner, rushing over to his body as she screamed out “Help”

* * *

Clarke collapsed on her bed, she had just spent the last few hours in a small hell. Wells was dead and she had been the one to find him. Tears ran down her face falling to each side of her pillow as guilt flooded her head and heart …

'Forgive me Wells'

Wiping the tears from her face, she reached over to grab her pen and focus on the only constant she ever had in her life. Her rock, her anchor ...

'Lexa'

  
**I found Wells  
I know, I am sorry Clarke**  
**Where are you?  
At the scene, sitting in my car. I got here right after you left  
I should have waited  
Are you ok?  
No …  
Do you want me to come over?  
Yes …  
It will be late, have to button up a few things here  
Don't worry about it Lex, do your work  
But I want to be there  
You are here … you are always here  
I always will be  
I know**  
**Can I see you tomorrow?  
Please …  
Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner?  
All three … wake me up with coffee anytime after 9  
9 it is  
Night Lex  
Night Clarke**

Lexa had sat in her car for the past hour staring at her palm trying to find the perfect words to say to Clarke, only to have Clarke beat her to the punch. She had allowed Anya to take the lead on this incident so she could focus on Clarke if need be. There were so many things that Lexa longed to say to Clarke and at this very moment all she wanted to do was wrap her in her arms and never let her go.

'You are always safe with me'

Hours ticked away, the scene had been cleared for the most part, the body of Wells and two other unidentified victims had been removed from the site. The last of the press were slowly dispersing from the scene. COL incidents were starting to draw large amounts of attention and as there frequency increased so did the fear of the general public. The coming weeks would be hell and Lexa could feel the shit storm approaching, she was brought back to the present as she felt the vibration and heard the ring from her cell phone in her pocket.

“Agent Woods”

“Don't talk, just listen … I don't have much time Agent Woods, all you need to know is that I made the anonymous call about the boatyard.. I couldn't stop what happened, I tried but he wouldn't listen. Take a closer look at Wells body, I can't say much, someone maybe be listening… but Dr. Griffin will know it when she sees it and now that I have mentioned her name you should know … She is not safe, you need to protect her. Go to her now”

The line went dead and all Lexa could think about was Clarke …

'Clarke … No'

Without a moment of hesitation she shifted her car into drive and sped off …

'Just hold on Clarke'

A subtle noise roused Clarke from her sleep, her eyes blinked open and as she laid still in her bed she listened carefully for any further noise. After several minutes, she negated the sound, passing it off as just the wind or even the house settling. Her ceiling fan was oscillating slowly above her and as she stared at it, her eyes became heavy once again and the lull of sleep pressed into her. Right before the darkness pulled her back in, she heard a small thud and at that she sat up abruptly.

“Who's there … Lexa”

There was no response, in fact that house went eerily still and quiet. Clarke slowly got up from her bed, listening intently as she moved as quietly as possible to her bedroom door. Once she reached the doorway she flipped on the lights in the hallway, taking a minute to view her surroundings. Gingerly making her way down the hall and toward the living room Clarke could hear no footsteps but her own, she took a deep breath as she reached the top of the stairs and listened for any movement below.

After taking a pause, she made her way down the stairs and into the living room, clicking on the nearest lamp shedding some rays of light into the room. Nothing seemed out of place, breathing a sigh of relief her body relaxed, clicking the lamp back off. As she turned to head back up stairs … something moved in the corner of her eyes and as she did a double take a shadow stood in the doorway leading into the kitchen.

“What the fuck-”

Her words were lost in the darkness as the figure lunge in her direction and begin to run toward her. Clarke reached back and grabbed the nearby lamp throwing it at her attacker hearing the smash and shatter of glass as she begin to sprint up the stairs. Taking them two at a time, panic begin to set in as her mind begin to race …

'Run Griffin'

'Run'

'How are you going to get out of this'

'Fuck'

Just as she reached the halfway point Clarke could hear her attacker gaining and just as she looked back to see him, she felt two hands wrap around her ankles pulling her back in mid air, which sent her falling face first. She used her arms to brace for the fall as her body roughly meet the awaiting stair below her, a loud thud followed. The pain that shot through the front portion of her body was immense and she winced, kicking her feet to scramble away and out of his reach as he grabbed for her feet. One kick connected with his face and sent him falling back down a few stairs.

“You fucking bitch” the attacked yelled

Clarke saw her chance and used all her strengthen to scrambled all the way up the stairs just in time and out of the grasp of her enemy. She reached her bedroom door, slamming it shut, resting against it briefly as she looked around frantically … her breathing heavy and fast. A loud thud crashed into the door behind her, shaking the door and Clarke, she pushed from the door, looking around in haste.

'The Window'

It took her only a second to reach the window, opening it and peering out into the dark night and ground below. Her attacker continued to pound on the door, trying his best to break it.

“I'm coming for you, you hear me … there is no escaping”

Clarke swung her leg over the edge, reaching out and straining to reach the nearby tree branch that hung close to the window, she leaned out with all of her length and just as she felt the bark underneath her hand, her bedroom door was knocked open as her attacker came crashing in and to the ground propelled by his momentum.

“Argh” Clarke moaned as she lunged for the branch just barely reaching it, fingers grasping as she managed to maneuver down a few feet before she lost her grip and fell a short distance to the ground in a loud thump

“Ahh .. fuck”

Her breaths were sharp and heavy ...

“Clarke”

She heard her name being yelled from around the side of the house

“Lexa … I am here” she screamed in response

Clarke looked up at the window which was now empty with no sign of her attacker. She collapsed back onto the ground, letting her head hit the grass and she breathed in and out heavily.

“Clarke … oh god, are you ok”

“In the house Lex … he is in the house”

Clarke could barely get out the words between breaths as she felt Lexa's arms wrap around her pulling her up into an embrace erasing all fear... the only thing she could make out was Lexa's voice ...

“It's ok … you are safe”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts, good, bad, indifferent
> 
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